The ‘upside’ of Cancer

• Being able to sleep all day
• Eating Ben & Jerrys Ice Cream at 11am and not having to explain why
• Not having to wash, brush, condition, cut or style my hair
• Sleeping in
• Being home with my dogs all day
• Sparkling wine is a pre and post chemo medication and no one argues about it
• Becoming the neighbourhood nosey posey and keeping an eye on what goes on around here
• Having pancakes for breakfast in bed three days in a row at chemo time made by Dr Hands
• Meeting people all over the world (via social media) who have handy hints and kind words
• No dieting
• Beside medical appointments, no real obligations
• Shows the good side of people

My most recent chemo hasn’t been kind to me. I had it on Thursday gone and I thought I was doing ok for a while but come Sunday, I couldn’t leave my bed. I did have a lovely couple of coffees with the neighbour yesterday but have spent most of yesterday and today in bed also.

Thank goodness there is only one more chemo session left.

Then, we’ll talk radiation therapy……………

Look Who Came To Visit!!

These two wonderful ‘peeps’ are my gorgeous daughter Accalia-Jayne and her dog Buster. OMG OMG OMG how gorgeous are they both? Seriously, my daughter has always been gorgeous but her dog which she and her Grandma Lorraine share, Buster, is just amazing.

I am a dog person, that is no secret but rarely do I actually fall in love with someone elses dog until today. Buster is just beautiful. He is only about 10 months old, huge but so well behaved.

It absolutely made my day to see my gorgeous daughter (and puppy) because this week is chemo week. I am ready to go with the second to last chemo but boy, did Buster make my week a whole lot better. AND my lovely daughter bought me some gorgeous flowers…

My house is now full of flowers because gorgeous neighbour Clare, who I invited over to meet Buster, also bought me some flowers from her ‘iron lady’

And just in case you get some Buster blues… here are some more piccies of that gorgeous guy….

The Great Debate

Firstly, let me start with last nights post. If you didn’t read it, don’t bother. Obviously, I had had a few drinks and goodness, what a mess of a blog that turned out to be hehe. But still, I am still very flattered to have people worry for me when I haven’t blogged in a while.

Now, onto more important matters, my hair! You know it has started ‘growing’ back in a baby hair/fluff kind of manner. This is the softest hair I have ever felt and I am always feeling myself up, on my head!

When I was in the chemist the other day, I told Mary to have a look at my beautiful hair (remember Mary? She is my pharmacist) and she was ever so impressed and then said to me, “Will you be colouring it?”

I was so offended. She is saying my hair is grey! I told her that would not be necessary because my new hair is beautiful and blonde. She just nodded. Hmph.

When I came home, I asked Sam what colour he thought my hair was, he said GREY!

What a crock of shit! My hair is sooooooo blonde and not grey.

Mum came up today and she said it is blonde. I love my mum. So, what do you think?

Totally Blonde huh? And it is getting soooo long. I love it.

Here are the beautiful flowers that Mum bought up for me today.

I seem to also have made a habit of adding a dog photo here and there on these blogs of mine so here is Miss Kelly up on her pedestal.

For Ann Larson :)

Ann Larson popped a message on my blog how she worries when I haven’t blogged for a while and wow, that made my heart a flutter.

Ann, thank you for your concern for me. I must be honest and say I haven’t been doing so good.

I have only 2, count them, 2, chemo sessions left but boy, my body is exhausted. The last few weeks I have done not much but sleep,and if I can’t sleep, I have just lay there like a zombie.

The new chemo drugs are much better than then previous but these ones leave me ‘zombie’ like.

My body is nothing. It wont move or be in any kind of action. My brain, on the other hand, has been in over drive.

The feelings (which most people call side effects) have been over activity and over acquisitiveness.  Whilst it might not sound band to the average person, it honestly sucks. My body feels dead, can’t move, but my brain is over active. Have you any idea what that is like? I hope you dont. It really does suck.

My lovely Ann Larson wrote that she worries when I dont blog for a period of time and you know what, that made me feel great and I thank you Ann.

As a cancer patient, everyone wraps around you for the early days but after a while, you feel alone. That is nothing against anyone but it is what it is.

When Ann Larson wrote that she worries when I dont blog for a while, it created the biggest smile on my face.

Yes, these last few days have sucked. All I have wanted to do is sleep. Bed, Sofa, Bed and anything else that could cushion me.

The other reason I haven’t blogged is that nothing has happened.

No one has visited. Nothing has happened in the estate.

Brady and Kelly (my dogs) haven’t done anything unusual.

So, there hasn’t been anything to blog about.

Today, a guy from work, Corey Hollitt, visited me and it was amazing. We drank champagne and ate cheese and salmon and tomatoes and what not. It was an amazing afternoon. There was someone I worked with that wanted to come seee me and drink and eat and enjoy my dogs.

I’ll be honest here and admit, I haven’t heard a lot from my work peeps since I was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer but I am sooooooo thankful that Corey came to visit. We laughed, we gossiped and we drank/ate. It was such a lovely and ‘normal’ thing to do and that is what made it amazing. Oh, and also the fact that he wanted to visit me during this cancer crapola time of my life.

Ann, I promise you that soon, there will be a debate as to what colour my hair is. There is a ‘fluff’ coming through that I think looks like a platinum blonde blonde but Dr Hands thinks it is all grey.

Tomorrow, photos will come through for all to judge but seriously, it is totally a white blonde and NOT grey. Be ready because my new hair looks amazing.

Anyway, this post was for Ann Larson. I am ok. I am very sleepy and have slept most of my week just past. Sleep is great. OMG if I could tell you off my dreams, I am sure I would be banned from something hehe. I am A OK but thank you for worrying about me xx

Bad to Good – Make it Happy

I have had a really shitty crappy awful week.

Yes, a lot of it has had to do with my bum and bowels but I will give you a break with all of that information.

I have slept a lot which is not something I will ever complain about. The medication I am now on with the new chemo drugs make me quite zombie like but that is ok. Much better than the pain and discomfort that I suffered last chemo when they changed the drugs and advised I would probably only need ‘panadol’ to deal with the pain. Yeah Nah, Endone is what I needed. I don’t like endone as a general rule because it makes me nauseas and constipated and dopier than usual but it is what is needed to get me through the chemo ‘feelings’.

On some nicer news…….. The dogs got new beds recently. Brady and Kelly have both turned 7 years old and any dog trainer will tell you that is the dogs 2nd change of life. Dogs go through a ‘change’ at the ages of 2 and 7 – both Kelly and Brady are the same age. Kelly (our Staffy X) has become very sooky. Needs/wants cuddles constantly. Brady, who has always been the gently, frightened and most obedient dog has become a grumpy old man. He does NOT like it when Kelly settles in to her bed next to his. I now have to separate their beds at night time before they go to ‘real’ bed time. Kelly is a lazy b*tch who refuses to hold her poopies and weewees and has decided the hallway (carpet) is her toilet so she now sleeps in the garage. But, before  ‘real’ bedtime, the dogs are in with us in the house and run around like crazy fools, play tug of war, demand cuddles from Dr Hands and I and have sleeps before dinner and bed. Sometimes, Brady goes onto his bed first but when Kelly goes onto hers, he growls and huffs and puffs and carries on like a fool and I have to move his bed away from hers.

I did manage to get a photo before this all occur occurred though.

Today, my wonderful mum came to visit me as she does most weekends. I haven’t posted her gorgeous square yet but I will do that a little later but look at the beautiful flowers she bought up for me. She almost always brings beautiful flowers for me to cheer me up. The thing that I really hate about her visits is that I can see she suffers looking at my bald (but almost all fluffy with new hair) head, my red and itchy eyes, runny nose, tiredness etc. How does a daughter comfort her mother who is suffering watching said daughter deal with cancer. Thankfully, we laugh a lot. Mum and I can laugh at the stupidest things…. I want to mention Sam here but that would seem rude hehe. My mum, Sam, Inlaws, Tamara, Accalia, Cousins, Neighbours, Furbabies and everyone inbetween keep it real but achievable.

Flowers from Mum

Oh, and another thing, we harvested another Cauliflower this week, our neighbour John recons we could get about $10.00 for it because it is bloody huge. Excuse the fat bald chick holding it but it is to give you a perspective of how big this thing was

But, I’ll have you know, I have lost 8 kilos since this cancer bizzo stuff so thats a good thing right?

Phew!

Yep, I pooped.

I can’t say I am feeling overly great but obviously much better than I was. Yesterday I think I was ‘awake’ for two hours at the most and that was scattered time. Not in a two hour block.

The main feelings are fatigue and headaches which are easily dealt with so there isn’t much to complain about my way.

My pretty fluff on my head is still growing and unlike other people, I am NOT shaving it. It feels so nice and soft. I will take what I can get for the moment. I wash it very gently so I dont pull any out and pat dry it. I am now very precious about my fluff hehe.

That’s about it from me today. Am thinking, back to bed with some headache tablets. I am really happy I can still read with these headaches because I am currently reading the last book of Game of Thrones!

Call The Midwife!

It has been five days since I pooped.

Wish me luck.

I live in fear.

2 Chemo’s to Go….

For some reason, I thought today was only going to be an hour in the chair for my ‘spa therapy’ but oh no, that was just too much to hope for, it was three hours. It might not sound a lot to some people but with the blood tests followed by two saline flushes and herceptin and docetaxol and a visit from the oncologist, bubbles in the tube causing more delays, tiredness from a very bad night sleep, this all made for a pretty shitty day.

Sometimes I feel so much guilt for having Sam take two days off each three weeks. The Thursday to drive me to and from chemo and sit with me for company and to watch for rashes and make me drink water etc. Friday following the Thursday he is home to make sure the side effects aren’t too bad and is able to check temperature and take my tablets and basically hover over me etc. He takes it in his stride but shit, how rough must that be for the carer to constantly keep a smile on their face and throw the funny jokes to me to keep me smiling.

Oh, and another thing…. My oncologist, who I adored until today, came into see me and I told him to look at my beautiful ‘fluff’ that I am calling hair and his response was this..

‘Yeah well that will fall out soon’

He even said this with a smile on his face. If he wasn’t such a cutie I would have slapped his face. Oh, I had a intravenous thing in one arm and the other is very weak so there was no chance of a slap even if he wasn’t cute hehe. I am sad though. I really love my little baby hair that is coming through.

I did ‘bling’ up today with my lovely engagement ring, new ring to keep engagement ring in place and wouldn’t you know it but Nurse Kathy noticed and says, excitedly, was there a wedding since the last chemo!!?? I explained that no, no wedding but a ‘safety ring’ was bought to keep THIS engagement ring in place.

I also got to wear my gorgeous necklace from my pea in Singapore that she bought me for my 40th (3 years ago) and it looks beautiful. My anniversary earrings were also in place so I felt kinda ‘pretty’ with my bling and my fluff. I am still going hatless and wigless and scarfless and feel good for it. So, here is today’s look.

Figured I best pop in a gorgeous photo of my boy Brady while I am here.

Third to Last Chemo Today

I have been a bit of a sook as of late which is why I haven’t blogged. I had such an awesome week last week so really, I shouldn’t complain. Last week consisted of taking myself out 2 days in a row! One of those days catching up with a friend for lunch and coffee and then a spot of shopping.

The weekend I had my Mum, soon to be Father in Law and Mother in Law over for a delish lamb roast lunch to celebrate FIL and MiLS upcoming birthdays and fathers day as it is more than likely I will be too poorly to celebrate on the actual days.

Look at this feast!

Then come this week, blugh, can’t poop, have no energy, sunshine outside my window that I can’t enjoy blah blah.

But after today, I will have only 2, count them people, 2 chemos left!! How good does that sound. AND, I am getting some hair growing on my head!!

I have so many plans for when I am feeling amazing so watch out…. These pages are going to be filled with all sorts of wonderful things.

My week was perked up by a visit from my favourite postie Ashley with a lovely and amazing gift from the Naulty Family. Inside the parcel was an amazing neck warmer (you know those scarfs that are joined together?) with the cutest matching mittens. Amazing warming socks and a little card consisting of a hug. I can carry this card around and when I am feeling not so positive and amazing, I am reminded there is a hug in my purse for me. Thank you so much Christine and Family xx.

Here is a photo of my boy out and about with Sam and FIL (Future father in law). My FIL is an amazing photographer.

And here is our girl Kelly, first time off the lead in her seven years and she did great!