Love and Tears for Brady

Tonight I cried.

I cried because my beautiful boy looked at me with his beautiful big brown eyes. He looked like he was sad.

He looked like he was loving me.

He looked like he was happy.

You decide what he looked like.

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I have watched him all day, hobbling, sniffing, being incredibly uncomfortable, strange breathing while sleeping and bringing me toys. He is still doing dog things, Brady things but, he isn’t our Brady anymore.

He is riddled with an incurable cancer. He is in pain. He is sad.

I cry because I don’t know when it is ‘time’.

How do I know that he has had enough?

I don’t want to wait until he is exhausted but I don’t want to do it when he is still brining me a ball to throw for him.

I have loved sharing my life with Brady but right now, I hate it. I am so confused and lost.

Brady is as loving as ever but I fear his time is near.

I can’t wait for his surprise BBQ party on Sunday but I fear what follows it.

Am being as strong as I can.

Loving my boy.

My boy is loving me.

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3 thoughts on “Love and Tears for Brady

  1. Oh my darling girl, I’m so so sorry for your sadness and fear… I am going through (almost) the same thing with Tiger… he is blind now, and although he is happy, I fear for his safety every day… he bangs into walls and furniture… My thoughts and prayers are with you ❤

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  2. It’s an incredibly hard time, for sure. We try to remember that you shouldn’t keep them going for you, you do what’s right for them, despite the pain. We try to gauge it right, but you never can get it exactly right. We did one time, but two other times left it longer than we should. There’s no perfect answer! Best of luck, sweetie….and give your friend a hug from me. Xx

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