So Long Sucker!

Yep, Drippy has gone. Oh the joy I felt when they slipped that tube out of my body was amazing and I just wanted to hug my Super Nurse Jill. Well, actually, we did hug. Once she had taken that annoying thing out, taped my dressings up so I can have a shower (A shower!!), she hugged me. Seriously, these nurses are absolutely amazing people. They go so beyond the call of duty. Anyone who knows me well knows that I am not a big hugger, it isn’t my favourite thing to do but hugging Nurse Jill was perfect, she is perfect and she deserves a wee medal for what she does and how she makes people feel.

Speaking of nurses, my day nurse Lisa was the one to take me to my hospital appointment (thank you so much!) and we then enjoyed a lovely scenic drive and by the time we got back to our houses, I felt so amazingly relaxed and happy. While I was gone, day nurse Lisa’s lovely hubby who we call Poppy had installed my ceiling fan!! Perfect timing and such a wonderful and generous thing to do so thanks Poppy! You are a gem. My good friend Summer had been here helping Poppy with the ceiling fan installation and TV antenna bizzo but she had gone by the time I got home. She was off dancing with the girl next door. Summer can be so fickle somedays!

Another wonderful thing happened today, I went to lunch with my amazing friend of over 30 years.Trace and I have one of those friendships were we can and do go months without speaking, maybe the occasional text message my be sent but time passes by so fast. Once we manage to find that moment to catch up for a dinner or lunch or drinks, it is like time has stood still, we just pick up where we left off and I love that. Our lunch consisted of chatting over a gluten free cheese burger and fries at Miss Perez in Stirling, laughing, remembering times passed and future plans and dreams and planning journeys between chemotherapy treatments.

It is no wonder that by the time I got back home I had a smile from ear to ear.

What I loved about today is it was fun. It was normal. I spent the day being chauffeured around by my friends, chatting and laughing and taking in the simple beauty of the day. Oh, and I took Miss Fluff out and she behaved. She stayed right where she was meant to stay and looked just like a boob. What I don’t love is Sam’s comment a few days ago asking how I got it to droop just like the other one! Grrr.

Oh, back to the drain that had been removed, please be advised it was absolutely painless. So if you have a drain in or about to get one in after your surgery, don’t worry about the removal, it is a piece of cake. And if you are in Adelaide, call for my wonderful breast care nurse Jill, she’ll look after you 🙂

I am still struggling a bit to sleep at night but I am getting to bed earlier than the previous 3am time. I do have sleeping tablets but they dont seem to work very well. I always wonder where they base their doses on because a skinny person might only need 1 or 2 sleeping tablets but I am far from skinny so shouldn’t I be needing more? I might ask my doctor when I see him next.

Thank you so much to everyone for their advice and in some cases, very descriptive and fun explanations on how to get my bowels moving after the surgery and pain killers. I chose Mia’s dad’s remedy of senna and coloxal. Two of those before bed and all is well with the world the next day 🙂 I do feel that I could probably skip dinner some nights with the amount of tablets I am taking but I am not needing as many of the strong pain killers anymore. I still use that magnificent breast pillow because the swelling under my arm is huge (but normal apparently) and that pillow just really takes the edge off.

My Friend Summer

Sam and I have been fortunate enough to have been able to build a beautiful new home and we received the keys to this home on the 19th of December 2014. We had been living in the area for a few years in a rental house but I had yet to make any friends because I just wasn’t around the town enough to meet anyone. Working full time saw me often leave in the dark and return home in the dark. We didn’t go to the local football matches or cricket games and didn’t frequent the local pub beside the drive through. Yeah, I knew the guy at the bottle shop drive through pretty well.

Once we had our new home, we made many wonderful new friends and one of these new friends is Summer. She is pretty cool and often helped us keep up with our garden maintenance because she knew we just didn’t have time to get to it some days. She’d come over and water it wonderfully. She would always take the time to have a chat, she didn’t often invade the inside space of our home in the early days and I think that was to make sure she wasn’t pushing her friendship onto us too quickly.

She’d seen Sam building some raised vegetable gardens one day in the garage and she dropped what ever it was she was doing and came over to give him a hand. She must have known that sometimes you just need that extra person to build something like this.

Today, Summer came over for a chat because she knew I had recently had surgery and was home recovering.

I should mention, Summer is 4 and had just come home from kindy so she was a bit tired today but still took the time to come over see how I was. We chatted about general things and we then got out the colouring books and pencils. I was helping Sam at the time and Summer helped us before getting back to her colouring. Once Sam was no where to be seen, Summer asked how my boob was. Her words “is your boob sore?”. I said yeah, its still a bit sore but it is getting better. Summer follows this with, “the doctor cut your boob off didn’t he? But he put a band-aid on it so that will help it get better”. I just nodded because that was quite a bit of information but it certainly saved me having to explain it. Then came this question,

Summer: “Damanda (this is her name for me), can I have a look at your sore boob?”

Me: “Hmm I am not sure Summer, it isn’t a very nice thing to look at”.

Summer: “Damanda, I really would like to see it please.”

So I agreed. She already knew the boob had been ‘cut off’ so I couldn’t see what argument I could use that would satisfy her so I pulled up my top for her. She looked at it and then became a little confused.

Summer: “Where is your little boob Damanda?”

Me: “Um, what do you mean Summer? What is a little boob?”

Summer: “You know, the little boob… where is it Damanda? Where is your little boob?”

I was getting quite confused and Summer was getting quite frustrated with me. Summer is absolutely hilarious when she gets a bit cranky and has a very serious frown and she has her hands on her hips, she gets a stare as well that would break many a hardened person. So, as she can’t seem to explain what a little boob is, she shows me on herself. She promptly lifts up her top and points to her nipple and says, “This is a little boob Damanda, where is yours?”

So, I tell her that the doctor cut that off with my boob because it was sick and she is more concerned I don’t have a little boob than the fact my entire boob is gone and I am covered in bandages and I have a bloody tube coming out of my body! Geez, some friend she is turning out to be…

She then gets distracted because Sam comes back and is trying to get the antenna to pick up all of the chanels on the TV and Summer asks him to just get the kids chanel on please. On go the cartoons and I have a rest from talking about my sick boob.

Then, Sam is gone again and Summer has come up with some more questions and this time, she asks if she can see my other boob. I advised that I didn’t think that was very appropriate to be showing her my other boob and she says, not your real one but the soft one. Oh, she wants to see Miss Fluff. Her Nana has told her a lot about this situation I am in and I am glad for it because she is all over this and needs to know it all. Summer is one of those kids you can’t just brush off with a half hearted answer. She’ll catch you out and grill you.

As we start walking toward the bedroom I explain the other boob is a fake one and she starts pointing out all the fake things in my house like some pig statues are fake, my dog door stop is fake and we get to my bra and I pull out Miss Fluff. She isn’t very impressed with it and walks out.

Summer plonked on the couch and had one more question, where is my boob and little boob that the doctor cut off. I said they were in the bin. She accepted this answer and went on to watch the cartoons.

Oh, and get this! Summer says to me that her feet are cold and I told her that there is a blanket right next to her and to pop that on her feet. Here is her reply,

“I am not using that blanket, that is the dogs blanket!” There is a fair bit of disgust in her tone.

I tell her that it is not the dogs blanket but in fact, is mine and her response…

“Well, it smells like the dogs blanket!”

So, according to Summer, I am now the boobless lady with no little boob who lives across the road who’s blankets smell like the dogs.

I think I need new friends hehe

Just one more thing…..DRIPPY COMES OUT TOMORROW!! Yipppeeeeee **does a little dance**

I Am On Cancer Leave.

I don’t have much to report today. I am a bit blugh but not in a bad way. I am just a little flat. It might be because there is nothing really happening right now. I am walking around still carrying drippy, still sore, still lop sided and still in this mornings pyjamas and it is after 9pm at night.

Geez, that sounds really quite pathetic and sooky hey, but I am generally ok beside what I have said above. I pooped today which made me smile. I slept amazingly well last night which also made me smile. I guess I am not great at recovering from surgery. I feel that there should be something happening now but there isn’t.

So, I spent my day filling in paperwork for my income insurance, medicare documents, phoning the bank to explain my situation and to see what options are available (yes I know I know, I work in the industry but my mortgage isn’t with the bank I work with so I had to double check that they had the same options available), made my post operation appointment, oncology appointment and booked Brady in for a total hair cut. He is so woolly at the moment that I am frightened he is going to be mistaken as one of the local sheep and boy is he filthy! Building a house is great and beautiful and everything is new except for the garden. We managed to get the front garden done and finished and looking lovely but the back yard, well, it is dirt. Mud sometimes, but dirt and it loves to stick to Brady. I think it might be a while off now until we pave or deck that area as we had planned to do so by having Brady shaved, it’ll save him bringing in a lot of that dirt and mud. Oh, I best not start chatting to you about Brady because this entire blog could then revolve around that wonderful boy of mine.

Oh, there is something I want to talk about actually, it is being fat. Most of you know I am a wee bit overweight, ok, a lot but anyway, I found something out about chemo. You get fat! I do not have room to put on anymore weight. Why can’t there be a benefit to this cancer bizzo like weight loss or something? Isn’t it enough that I am going to lose my hair (I hope I have a beautiful scalp), lose my eyelashes and eyebrows, will get mouth ulcers (that is going to suck for a fat chick who loves food),  and I’ll  put on weight! I know I’ll end up with lovely boobies eventually but geez, can I have something to enjoy in the mean time? Why can’t something amazing happen like, end up with beautiful glowing skin, or the tightening of my bum and leg muscles, make me smarter… something positive would really be nice. Oh hang on, there is something positive, it will save my life. Yeah ok, that’ll do.

And another thing. Why can’t we have ‘cancer leave’ like we do with ‘maternity leave’? That would be super handy for us cancer people. It is seeming to be quite an expensive illness at this time and I imagine it is only going to get more expensive so being on ‘cancer leave’ from work would be very beneficial right now. I am hoping there wont be too much of a hassle obtaining this income insurance. The insurance company obviously ask a lot of questions and the paperwork is generic but one of the questions is ‘when did you notice your illness’. Isn’t that a bizzare question? They also ask when you first went to the doctor and then when you received confirmation of the illness but the question as to when you noticed your illness I thought was quite out there.

So my plans for the next few days are to accept I have had major surgery as advised to me by Pauline and Dr Hands, accept I have to rest, relax and reduce the thoughts in my head. I will pick up my book and lose myself in the words and worlds of others. I shall feel no guilt in doing so either because this is what I need to do. The pain killers are good when they are working but they make me feel I can do much more than I should really be doing so I will listen to the professionals and not my endone brain.

Want to know what I am reading right now? The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins. I am absolutely loving this book and it fascinates me that I can enjoy a book where I do not like the characters. They aren’t nice people but I can’t put the book down. I am almost finished this book and you know what comes after that? Choosing a new book to read. That is one of my favourite things to do in life, choosing the next book to read and I have lots of books in my ‘To Be Read’ pile.

Well, thanks for sticking with me through this rambling session. I feel better now, do you? 🙂

I Sprung a Leak!

Yep, you read it right. Drippy is still here. Apparently, I am still draining too much for the drain to be taken out so I shall continue to walk around with the ‘handbag’ over my arm carrying my drip bottle around for a day or two longer.

Lets talk about last night.

Have you ever plugged your mobile phone in to charge, had a chat on said phone and tried to walk off still attached to the charger? Well, I did something very similar to this last night except there were no mobile phones or chargers involved. It was drippy.

Let me explain drippy in more detail. I have a tube which has been inserted into my body to collect the gunky gooey stuff that collects in the wound of where my cancer was taken out. The tube is quite long and is attached on the other end to a plastic bottle where the gooey yucky stuff goes. This plastic bottle resides in a pretty floral handbag which I hang on my shoulder when I am up and about. I ‘tuck’ the cord into the bag so I don’t get caught on door handles or dog heads and things like that.

Come bed time, I lay the bag next to the bed and pull the cord out of the bag so I can roll around and not be too restricted. I then get my breast pillow which, like the handbag with the drip thing in it, goes over my shoulder and the pillow part goes under my arm to rest on the wounded area.

As you can see, it takes quite a lot of planning to organise all my bits and pieces at bed time. So, imagine the drama I face when I need to get up through the night to wee. I can’t blame having been fast asleep and disorientated on the part I am about to tell you but I am going to go with, Endone. I must have been endoned out of my head or something?

I got out of bed, walked through my walk in robe, into the ensuite and felt a bit of a ‘pull’ under my arm where there are wounds and dressings from the boobectimy and lymph node removal and I thought the feeling was just the dressings moving with my movements so I took one more step toward the toilet and I felt and heard a ‘pop’. O. M. G. I have broken something! I was absolutely terrified to even look and see what I might have done but look I did. I noticed that where the drain goes into my body and under the clear tape there was now a liquid circle.Yup, it looks like I have broken it. It is 2am and I have sprung a leak!

Sam woke and looked but didn’t think there was anything wrong and I said I was going to ring one of my nurse neighbours because I knew she was awake. She comes over lickity split and checks the wound and yep, I had pulled it out a smidge but she explained the tube was nice and long and still in my body and whilst there was a little leak, it was all packed well and I was just fine.

Thank goodness for my medical people. Dr Hands (Sam), Night Nurse Clare (next door), Day Nurse Lisa (across the road) and of course the good people of St Andrews Hospital. I wont be cross at them for making me keep drippy for a little longer. They know their stuff I’m sure.

PS: I bought some stuff for pooping, wish me luck

To Poop or Not to Poop… that is the question

Here it is ladies and gentlemen. The one you have been waiting for. The Poop Blog.

There are a few ‘oldies’ here that followed my previous blog ‘I Woke Up Fat’ discussing the time, well, when I woke up fat. These people know my fascination for poop and have been waiting, I’m sure, for it to pop along here somewhere. Well, it has and here it is.

I don’t know where my fascination for pooping came from but its here and I love to poop. Imagine my concern, my terror, my absolute horror, when I could poop no more. Three whole days without a single poop occured after surgery. Not even a ‘need’ to poop. Nothing. WHERE IS MY POOP!!??

Turns out, my new friend Endone takes away your poop. So who do I chose. Do I keep my new friend Endone who takes away the pain of my recent boobectimy and lymph nodes or do I turn my back on Endone and wait for my great mate Poop?

Once I had worked out that I can’t have both in my life at one time, I did turn my back on Endone. Today I made the decision to give it up. Go cold turkey with Endone.  I didn’t want to be so harsh and I felt just awful for it but I was worried about where the poop was going? Where do you store poop when not plopping it into the loo? I am big enough that I dont want to create more room on this very womanly body to have a holding bay for my poop. I am eating and drinking so I know it is in there somewhere. So I kicked my friend Endone to the curb, well, kitchen bench and took a couple of panadol and went about my day.

As time went on, I felt poop return. It was only a little niggle but I knew it was there. I smiled. I almost even blushed. It was almost time.

Once the time came, I almost skipped into the toilet but refrained due to drippy still being attached to me, and down I sat, ready for poop.

It was over so quick. I couldn’t believe that a few days of food and water and that was all I had. A rabbit could do more than this. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. There were almost tears. I didn’t even feel this robbed when leftie was taken. WHERE IS MY POOP DAMN IT!

Thankfully, there was a better outcome a little later but not my usual release of amazingness. That will come back I am sure. But what did come back was the pain. Oh the pain! And it was not the pain of missing my poop, this time it was the real pain. The wound pain, ooooh no, now it was time to say goodbye to my poop again. This is getting really quite difficult to balance.

Endone won. 2 Endone were had tonight due to the pain and discomfort and bossy Dr Hands (Sam) giving me a lecture on keeping up with the pain medication and didn’t I listen to the nurses in the hospital and blah blah blah. Does he not know what it is like to miss your Poop?

And who the bloody hell says Endone makes you sleepy? It does not make me sleepy!! Well, it makes me dopey, ok ok, dopier than usual. And slow. It makes me slow. Imagine a turtle, with big rubber boots on, and a brick on its back, having eaten too much at dinner, and maybe had a few glasses of champagne, that is how I feel after Endone. But asleep I am not. It also makes me think which is waaay out there because I dont think I am much of a thinker usually. I try not to dwell on things or go over things but once Endone is around, I think a lot. And obviously babble on about all sorts of nothings 🙂

So that was my Sunday. Deciding who I wanted to be friends with more. Poop or Endone.

On a brighter note, I am heading to the hospital in the morning to hopefully get drippy removed. I will chat to the nurses then about how to balance this current issue of mine. They’ll have the answers, they are amazing people.

I’m Home …….

How lovely is it to come home. Weather it be a night after a long day at work, a lovely holiday or like me, a guest stay at St Andrews Hospital, nothing beats coming home. I dont even care that I still have one tube left draining the wound who I call ‘drippy’ (YUK, it even makes me cringe writing it and I have it in there).

There are a few differences from the hospital to home and the first differences are the mirrors. The hospital mirror was small and short so visuals were not quite honest. Not that I spent much time in front of the hospital mirror naked mind you. Home though, I have one of those MASSIVE mirrors in my ensuite that leave nothing to the imagination from my waist upward. It is all there and let me tell you who I saw. Rightie! Well, I could only just see Rightie because gravity is taking over. It is a like a super force trying to pull poor Rightie away and Rightie isn’t fighting the big fight. You see, I have been a wee bit tender in the area that Leftie used to live so Berlei + Miss Fluff have been draw ridden and unused and Gravity has moved in. Gravity was on the mission to take rightie but I just cant understand why Rightie isn’t fighting back.

What worries me is that what would have happened if I had elected to stay in hospital while drippy was still there? My surgeon says drippy wont come out until Monday and had I not come home and seen Righties prediciment, it might have been too late. I might have gotten up Monday morning and tripped over Rightie!

I had been so concerned about Lefties scars and drippys insertions that my Berlei Bra and Miss Fluff took a back seat to allow that area to heal and I didn’t think it was important to be wearing them until necessary. No one told me of the impact on Rightie from not wearing the boulder/fluff holder. I should have put her in a sling, like the one a person with a broken arm would wear or something.

In any case, I’ll be mindful each morning not to step on her when I get out of bed.

Do Not Disturb

Boy did I have a late night last night. My friend Endone has turned against me and instead of my lovely dreamy feelings I have been having, I was left bright eyed and bushy tailed after having taken two tablets. My previous love of my single private room was now silent and dull and speaking of silent, the entire floor was quiet last night.  That might sound perfect but it isn’t. It is really eerie and I kept thinking someone was sneaking into my room to Get Me! 

The last time I looked at my clock was around 2:30am so imagine my disgust when Nurse Bouncy is standing at the end of my bed calling my name at some insane hour this morning!  I was honestly so deep into my sleep that I had no idea where I was and why this woman was squawking my name with her blonde hair bouncing around. I opened my eyes only half way before she was asking me how I was feeling… I didn’t even know who I was let alone how I was feeling so I told her I was tired. She must be hard of hearing because she then asked if I wanted a shower. Before I could answer that question, in comes one of my favourite people in the hospital, the lady with my food! Nurse Bouncy giggled her way out of my room promising she’d be back so I scoffed my two cold soggy gluten free pieces of toast. Not only had Endone let me down but so had Food Lady.  Today was not looking good.

After my poor excuse for breakfast, I quickly snuggled back down into bed to get just a few more minutes sleep and blow me down in comes Nurse Bouncy. I am ready to kick her bouncy little arse right out of my room and then aaaahhhhhhh Nurse Jill is here to save the day. This woman is my saviour. She is above any little blonde bouncy chic who wants to get me naked for a wash, Nurse Jill is here to save the day in her invisible super hero cape. She is the breast care nurse and what she says goes. Nurse Bouncy is ushered out of my room, Superhero Jill pulls the blinds and whispers sleep well before shutting the door. I Love Her.

My ‘do not disturb’ sing must have fallen off the door because in bustles food lady again an hour later with a lovely blue berry friand and coffee and drops it onto my food table with such a racket that I had no choice but to acknowledge her. I am still so tired by this time that I actually leave the food and coffee and lay back down but nooooo, in comes another person to take me to X-ray. 

Whoever says you are in hospital to rest and recover is full of it.

Anyway, Mr Kollias popped into see me today and here is some of the information he told me.

I had stage 3 cancer residing in leftie and it was the size of a fist! That’s huge hey? It amazes me that this cancer critter can pop into someone’s body and just take over without the owner of the body even knowing. And to get to the size of a fist is incredible. I assume he means like a normal persons sized fist because he didn’t specify if it was a small persons delicate fist or a huge hulk of a mans fist but either way, a fist is a fist and that’s big! 

He also said that he got it all! Ha! In your face cancer! No one gets past MY Mr James Kollias! Or me for that matter. 

Then, he said he is going to get me the best oncologist ever to come and see me to discuss chemo. 

I have been downstairs via wheel chair driven by a cutie patootie orderly, had my heart and red cells monitored to make sure they can deal with chemo, and bought back to my room for a lunch break.

Now, here is a tip for anyone in hospital right now or in the near future. If you fart, that smell has no where to go and you have no warning when the nurse is going to barge into your room. The windows don’t open and the bubble of gas released from your butt just lingers in your room! I know ladies don’t fart so maybe there was a bubble of gas in my bottom from the dyes they injected this morning but seriously, it just popped out and I thought to myself, thank goodness I have a room to myself and wouldn’t you know it but, in comes Nurse Happy and Nurse Chatty a millisecond after the bum burp had escaped! I could almost see the green haze of gas that had just been released but there wasn’t anything I could do and it was then that I worked out why people buy patients flowers in hospital, to disguise the smell of farts! Nurse Chatty said, as soon as she walked into my room, what a wonderful smelling room. So, she was either hungry and thought my fart was some delish food smell or, the many beautiful flowers quickly sucked up that fart and replaced it with scents of roses and Lilly’s. 

How Much Can A Bailey Bear Bear.

People often say things are sent to test us and if that’s the case, I want my ‘tester’ to show their face! I know they won’t so I will assume my tester reads this blog and I am going to say it how it is…..

You popped a lump in my boob but you didn’t win because ‘handy man Sam’ found it. You had my good ol’ leftie removed and replaced with Miss Fluff. Yup, I can deal with that too. I dealt with being completely naked making small talk about dogs while getting a hot towel wash from Nurse Sue today. But now, well now I think you might just be pushing the boundary. Today you sunk to a whole new low. There is only so much a person can deal with, smile through and jest about until enough is enough.

Why did you allow Auntie Flo to visit me today? I am only here for another three days. You could have waited, you SHOULD have waited. You have gone too far!

There are only two circumstances where I like a visit from Auntie Flo and boobectimy week is not one of those times. My favourite time for her to visit is during a pregnancy scare. You know what I’m talking about hey? Those few days when she is due to visit but is running late and you check constantly, wishing she’d hurry, unable to think of anyone else but that wonderful Auntie Flo. Feeling bad for all the nasty words you have called her over the years, not appreciating her and BOOM! She’s here! Auntie Flo, my darling Auntie Flo (whoop wooop I’m not pregnant)!

The other time Auntie Flo is a welcome visitor… Well, I think we all know those nights where we just need a good night sleep and the headache excuse doesn’t really cut it…. Auntie Flo is a master is preventing any ‘mummy daddy time’ while she’s hanging around hehe.

So, that is what tester sent to test me but guess what…. I’m in hospital and they are well equipped to look after some one like Auntie Flo.

On a lighter note, I received a very funny and unique delivery today. I was happily Endone dreaming when a nurse came into my room with what looked like those ‘edible bloom boxes’. Have you seen them before? They are like a box/bunch of flowers but instead of flowers they’re chocolate dipped strawberries, chocolate bars or even cake pops.  In my special box, I had heaps of the latest store catalogues rolled up with chuppa chups in the tops of the rolled catalogues. This actually did make me laugh so much that ol’ rightie almost popped right off my chest!

You see, my friend IanR at work has taken the catalogues out of his letterbox every week and has then delivered them to me at my desk at work. This has been going on for a few years now and what I am amazed at the most is his wife. She allows, even encourages this behaviour from her husband. They don’t even hide it from their son!  How incredible. Thank you guys.

While I am thanking people, thank you to everyone who has sent so many wonderful messages of fun, encouragement and love. It is a shitty time but boy, the people in my life certainly have made this journey a lot easier. Thanks all for sticking with me and joining me during all this.

I will continue documenting the events of my breast cancer journey and if you are still reading this, you’ll know there isn’t such a thing as a boundary or an off limits section.

Tomorrow I hope to get the results from those studying leftie and her disease to see where I am off to next. Until then, Endone well, oops, I mean, sleep well. Xx

Bailey meets Fluff

Today I met Miss Fluff. She is my temporary lump that will even me up until Miss Rubber Lump (the prosthetic) comes into my life. Apparently I haven keep an eye on Miss Fluff because she isn’t very obedient. Oh, I should explain Miss Fluff to you first….

Think of a cotton pyramid (boob sized) filled with fluff and there is Miss Fluff for you. She is pretty good at giving me the bump that I’d lost in surgery and fits beautifully into my donated new berlei bra (thank you berlei!).

Now, where was I, oh, Miss Fluffs disobedience. Apparently she can ride all her way up from being my temporary boobie to become a chin rest! This is not going to work well for someone like me because I am easily distracted and I can tell you right now, Miss Fluff will end up in my mouth before I have even realised she’s moved! I’m serious! I do not pay attention to these kinds of things.  I can just imagine being in a cafe sipping my lactose free latte and someone watching Miss Fluff riding her way up and out of my top.

Having been boobie challenged in my younger years, one would imagine I’d be quite the expert in stuffing of the bra but off the many crazy things I did in my youth, that wasn’t one of them. I will just have to keep my eyes peeled for Miss Fluffs attempted escapes but please, if you see someone drinking a lactose free coffee, eating a gluten free cake while their fluffy boob pops out and falls on the floor, just pick it up and hand it back to her. That her will more than likely be me 🙂

Things I have learnt today are…

*. My hair does not look beautiful unwashed

*. Greasy hair is easy to keep off your face

*. I have never wanted to wash my hair so badly

*. Miss fluff has no nipple (yes, I will draw one on)