The Truth Today – and a Slight Discussion on Farts

Last Thursday, 8 days ago, I had the worst chemo ever.

What interested me the most is my Oncologist (who I think is amazing) told me that I may need panadol to help relieve some of the bone pain related to the new chemo drugs I was about to be given.

What a load of crap he was talking. I mean, I know people have their tollerances and stuff but shit, panadol? After 5 days being bed ridden, not sleeping but not awake, can’t eat and new hemorrhoids arriving, headache and skull pain that I have never felt in my life, panadol was NOT WORKING.

So, you probably got the gist in my previous post about all that and am now on Endone for pain, Coloxal + Senna to help with consitpation, Anusol for Hemorrhoids, Panadol to help with the Endone, Anti depressants because, well, this isn’t a walk in the park and a couple of anti nausea to keep everything in check. I have to have all this stuff PLUS try to eat food.

The great thing about it all, being as fat as I am, I have lost 6 kilos and am loving it. Another 25 kilos and I’ll be just fine and dandy.

Now, let me think what this blog was going to be about because I seriously had a reason for coming here tonight…

As you can see from all the medication I take, it is easy to lose track.

Oh thats it. I have a diary called the 5 year Q & A diary. Each day, there is a new question. For instance, 19th of May, 2015 – Question – What’s the most creative thing you’ve done recently? My answer for this year, 2015 was ‘Start my ‘An Unscheduled Journey’. Next year, on the 29th of May, 2016, I will have the same question. What I love is that this diary I ordered was ordered before being diagnosed with cancer but came when I was diagnosed with cancer. This is going to be a very interesting diary. Every day has a different question and I can imagine, over the five years, are going to have such amazing and different answers.

On the 17th of August, the question was – If you had to spend five years in prison, what would you finally have the chance to do? – My answer was – Write my life story.

It got me thinking about how many people think (and tell me) how wonderful it is that I have so much time to myself to do the things I love.

Ok, let me get a few things straight.

I have cancer – I am not on holidays
No full income is coming in to my bank account to allow fun times and day trips
Most days I wake very ill and lethargic, no that doesn’t allow me to dance amongst the daisies
Coffee with friends? They work during they day you know?
Oh, spending the day with my dogs, that I have no energy to walk or play with
I can watch TV and Movies all day – Did I mention I have cancer? Headaches, nausea etc? Tv and Movies do not work in this situation
You think sleeping in is a bonus and such a luxury – these sleep ins are caused by cancer…. Doing it everyday for weeks on end do not make it enjoyable
Gardening and enjoying free time – again, cancer takes away energy to garden and free time is recuperating.
Your friends may not be able to deal with you having cancer. Deal with it and move on

Anyway, I could totally go on and on (as I do) but I think what really pisses me off is that people really think I have it good right now. My weekly spend on medication to deal with this cancer is just under $100.00 and that does not give me energy to plan my garden, clean my house, watch movies etc.

What I do love is that I have a few things such as the following

Income Insurance (bills, mortgage, food)
Three months of having a cleaner which has freed up time for Sam and I thanks to my gorgeous and amazing cousins and family
The Bank. Our bank with our mortgage has been so kind to reduce our mortgage for the time being
Obviously, the love and friendship and caring from my family, inlaws, friends, neighbours and of course Sam
A beautiful home in which to recover from the shittiest and most disgusting treatment for an illness called cancer
Bubbles – There is nothing like sparkling wine when I can finally stomach it
My amazing furbabies
Medication

Honestly, the what I love section could go on and on and on.

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Only read on if you have a strong stomach…

I dont think I will ever fart again. That is saying alot from someone like me who LOVES to trump out a tune from my but.

Now that I have to endure endone, codeine, cancer, hemorrhoids and so forth, no fart is safe….

So today, I say good bye to my fart band. The band that has seen me through many curries, bad diets, alcohol and whatever else caused them. Now, if I feel the need, I must bury my tooty fartie in the loo, for that ‘just in case’ moment. I will spare you the details of this discovery but I was sad. I did love to toot my butt tunes.

This featured image is 7 years old. It is from when Sam and I had our first ‘holiday’ on a houseboat on the Murray River for New Years. Her, I am happy, have 2 boobs, a wee bit thinner, relaxed and again, happy.