8th and Final Chemo Today!!

You’d think I’d be excited wouldn’t you but nope, I feel nothing. I think it is because it isn’t over but I know, in about two or three weeks when the poison has gone from my body that I’ll be feeling amazing.

So, in preparation for today’s chemo I have put my make up on minus the eye make up because there are no lashes there, I spiked up my hair (with sorbeline cream), and put on the same lipstick I wore for my first chemo. I perked me up somewhat.

Today’s session shouldn’t take that long either which is good because I think I made a bit of a boo boo last night. I had my pre chemo medication after dinner last night and they usually keep me up for a little longer than usual because they are steroid based but last night, instead of taking three Valium to go with the steroids, I think I grabbed three of the steroids.

That would explain a totally and completely sleepless night. I finally fell asleep at 7am to be woken about 8:30am by Dr Hands with my breakfast and more pre chemo meds and said that I was three short. So that confirms my suspicions.

Now, I have to ask my oncologist not only for more endone, which is another drug I hate but also three dexis. He is sure to think I am a drug addict of sorts but what he wont know is that I hate both drugs. Endone stops my poop, as the world now knows, and doesn’t let me sleep. The steroids make me grumpy and stop me sleeping. So, once I am finished taking those, I will be over the moon.

So, thats my story for today.

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No dog piccies today, its all about the 8th and final chemo session. Shame you can’t see my gorgeous platinum white blonde spiky hair in this pic but trust me, its there. And I think I have two hairs coming through on my eye brows!

Can’t Sleep!

At 7:15pm I went to bed. I read my Game of Thrones book number 2 and was hot. On went the ceiling fan.

8pm, I’m up at cold. On goes the ducted heating and I am now warm. Kelly is sleeping on MY sofa and I have another glass of bubbles. I am wondering why I am up and awake because at 7:15, I was so tired, sick to my stomach (remember that stomach virus I have?) and boiling hot and now I am freezing, wide awake and needing some bubbles. FYI – Bubbles are non french champagne which I think we now have to call Sparkling Wine.

Now, at 10:20pm, I have emailed my bosses with the reality that my six months leave could now be between 12 and 15 months leave. I hated having to send that email because I wanted to do it person to persons. The shitty thing with that is I have a great day, where I am feeling good and energised but tomorrow, that might not be the case.

I have had days where I have felt incredible, missed work, life and living. Then the following day, I could be shit. Stuck in bed, even unable to get unable to get up and even tell big white dog Brady to shut up his barking. I can be almost comotosed and unresponsive. I hate that I can’t predict or plan things.

Today I felt A OK when I woke but the time Spanna came (the cleaner hired by my gorgeous and amazing family) arrived, I felt nauseas, dizzy and headachey. There is no predicting how I am going to feel day to day and I really bloody hate that.

Now, at 10:24pm, I am wide awake, mind running a million miles an hour.

Here are my thoughts tonight

*  Is my job safe

* Will I feel great tomorrow

* Is that tingling feeling in my cheeks an upcoming blister thing?

* Will I be able to sleep in the next few hours

* Are my shoulders just tight from stress, chemo or something else?

I hate the nights I can’t sleep. I really super duper dislike nausea. I absolutely love that families come together in times of need. I enjoy hearing bitchy witchy Kelly snoring on the sofa while I sit here with a spinny head and nauseas stomach. She cares not for me but only for the sofa and I love that about her.

My feelings today are

Television really sucks. There is rarely anything on this square thing that I enjoy. It is shit. shit shit sit.

Nausea

Headache

Blurred Vision

Irritability

PS: I still have some prickles left on my head which really piss me off. Give me all or nothing. I have shadows on my head. The front part of my head is almost bald and shiny. Seriously, I am not bullshitting, because, when I walk into the ensuite, I see the reflection of the lights off my head. But the back part still has prickles and they really piss me off.

PSS: That chin hair hasn’t resurfaced. AAAAAhhhhh in your face chin hair! Nothing beats Chemo you MOFO!!

I have no other photo than another random one of my boy Brady xx

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