Aches & Pains & A Fluffy Face

I am growing a bloody beard! For months I have been a smooth alien looking woman and now, now, I have mutton chops!

Ok, I might be going slightly overboard right now but geez, my face certainly is a lot fluffier than it ever was. I hope I wont be needing to borrow Dr Hands’ razor!

Seriously though, it is from one extreme to another. I am thinking I really might have to wax it or use depilatory cream or something. It is very fine and very blonde but it gets blown around in the wind! I can feel it moving. I think I can almost run my fingers through my new beard!

I’ll let you know how I get on. On a better note, my hair is looking amazing. It is still short but is growing very thick. I am using Nioxin Shampoo and Conditioner and my amazing friend Nicole bought this awesome product called Activance for me.

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I use 20 sprays per day and I am sure that is what is thickening my hair. Maybe some of it has dripped onto my cheeks and caused my mutton chops to grow??

Onto the Aches and Pains. Well, they’re still there.

The theracucumin doesn’t seem to have worked. Neither has the nurofen plus, nurofen, tramadol, panadene forte (although this did assist with some awful headaches I had experienced) or panadol. I am now taking fish oil capsules and have all of my hopes on these massive things. Have you seen the size of a fish oil capsule before? Well, the damn thing almost takes up my whole mouth!

And another thing. It says on the pack that there is no added gluten. What the hell is that supposed to mean. Is there or is there not gluten? All of the brands said the same thing except for one very cheap and nasty home brand looking thing. I ask the chemist lady and she advised that it was in fact gluten free. Well, why doesn’t it just say this?? It is so frustrating being a coeliac that I have to determine what ‘no added gluten’ means.

So, I chose Blackmores brand and I’ll let you know how I go.

Oh, I best tell you about the aches and pains hey? Well, I spoke to Dr Sid about it yesterday and explained it is mainly in my shoulders and neck but I sometimes feel the discomfort in my toes and hips. He said it is very unusual to suffer these pains which confused me because all of my research suggests that it is quite common.

The best way to explain it is that I feel like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. I feel like I need a good oiling in my joints to get me moving again.

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OMG I sound like I am 100 years old!!

I’m not. I just turned 44 only five days ago. Happy Birthday Toooooooo Me 🙂

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Fingers crossed that the next time I talk to you, I’ll be complaining of my Rapunzel length head hair, bragging about my smooth bald face and enjoying loose and pain free joints.

Peace Out!

I’m Bald and I’m OK

After the shower – This is what I combed out

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After drying and styling my hair

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This is halfway through my ‘session’ – Sam is loving pretending to be my french hair stylist

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This is the end result

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So, I thought I would have been waiting longer before the big shave but OMG, when the locks start falling, they fall in a big way. Yesterday i ran my hands through my itchy head and pulled out a reasonable sized lock of hair. I waited. I looked. Nope, no tears. I cried looking at another bloggers photos of her holding her hair in her hand but it didn’t happen when I held mine.

Sam came home from work and you know how sometimes when you have to tell someone something and you think you are going to be ok but as soon as you start speaking, you start blubbering and crying and stuff? Well, I thought this would happen to me but nope, I showed him my locks of hair I’d pulled out and he wanted to have a go. He ran his hands through my hair and nope, he got nothing so it really was a non event. He was even a bit disappointed to have not managed to get a handful of my hair can you believe!?

Today, whole new story. I did the whole ‘tug’ on my hair when I woke and nothing happened so I thought, oh, that must have just been a one off and a coincidence because yesterday was day 14 after the spa therapy (chemo) and the spa nurses said hair loss would occur at day 14. Well blow me down with a feather – where they not spot on or what?

Anyhoo, I was having my loving morning cuppa and a few, shall we say, tendrils of hair, fell onto my keyboard. Shit. This was not going to work for me. Then there was the odd hair on my arm and I am not one for feeling tickly spider web feelings on my body so I managed my way to the shower expecting all of my hair to fill the drain but again, hardly a hair came out. I thought I was imagining the hair loss. Maybe I was going to be one of those people who only had mild hair loss.

I had seen on other blogs and read other stories where the shower is when it all happens. Like in the olden days, remember the movie ‘psycho’? The fear on her face? Backed up against the tiled wall. That is how I expected I would be. Ok fine, she was about to be stabbed to death from memory and all I was about to face was hair loss but my shower experience was more like a scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I was singing away and having quite a lovely time until it was time to get out.

Drying off and sorbelining myself was all well and good until it was time to comb the hair and goodness me, there was an absolute mountain of hair! LIke seriously, the hair loss was incredible. I looked at my head expecting to see big bald spots but nope, no bald spots but a big mountain of hair was there, on the vanity unit looking at me.

So now, I am balding my way through life and whilst it is chilly, at least I can put my hair dryer, dry shampoo, hair straightener, hairspray, straightening serum, Nioxin Shampoo and Conditioner, Hair Treatments and Hair ties all away and make for a clean and tidy vanity unit.

I hope my naked head doesn’t frighten or scare anyone. I hope I dont create any nightmares or fears for anyone. I have had so many lovely messages, emails and texts saying I am inspiring and even making people less frightened of the ol’ mammogram and ultrasounds etc. Dont let the bald head change all that. It will grow back and I will be wishing for beautiful thick lovely curly locks this time instead of the thin drab hair I had previously.

Here is the final photo… what I like to call, the crime scene

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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Today at 2:15pm I ran my fingers through my hair and there it was. The start of the baldness. The hair loss. The lovely locks are on their way out. Don’t ask me how I knew what the time was, or even the relevance. I just remember the time.

Anyhoo, we all know that was going to happen but what no one told me was the itchiness. The last few days I have been itching my head like a lice/nits infested child. Constant scratching. I didn’t think much of that at the time, beside it being a bit annoying but now, because it has started to fall out, it is even itchier.

This has me thinking. What happens when the forest of dreams downstairs in lady land starts falling out? How on earth am I going to be able to go around scratching that? A head is easy because you can do that discreetly by ‘running your fingers through your hair and having a scratch on the way through’. Well, I can’t actually do that now because where will I put the hand fulls of hair if I am in the supermarket?

I can’t ‘accidentally’ rub myself on the trolly because then it’ll look like  I am masturbating in public and could possibly get arrested. Oh man, this is going to be a tough one.

I can hear you saying, just shave it now. Well, have you ever shaved ‘down there’? It grows back super duper itchy if you haven’t done it for a while and what if it isn’t ready to fall out yet and comes back itchy from the growth AND the hair loss. See my dillema here?

Well, tomorrow I am going to ask Dr Hands to shave my head because already, this hair loss is annoying. Not just the itchiness but the bits of hair that are on my body. It is like I am constantly walking through spider webs or that I have some out of control body tick. I absolutely hate random hair on my shoulders, arms, in my sandwich etc.

So tomorrow is the day. I’ll try not to think of ‘lady land’ and hope she doesn’t have me walking around with my hands down my pants having a good ol’ scratch.

I’ll leave you tonight with that image….

Boob, Boobie, The new Boobalicious Boob is coming!

Totally forgot to tell you in all the excitement from my gorgeous cousins and daughter, but, my new boob is coming tomorrow.

Boob lady, Krista, does house calls and is bringing me a brand new prosthetic sticky boob.

This boob has weight in it so it means it doesn’t ride up to become a chin rest. It should droop just like Rightie.

Speaking of rightie, I have totally had enough of her and her double D status and droppiness. She needs to be constrained otherwise she swings like a bloody pendulum and could potentially hypnotise someone and could even give me a black eye. For the first time in my life, I really wish I had small boobies because now that leftie has left my life and is shriveled up, dead in a bin somewhere, I still have a bit of swelling and the stupid ‘surgical garment bra’ annoys me but I can’t be going out and about without it because of bloody rightie.

Anyhoo, I digress because new boobie leftie is coming tomorrow and it has a sticky back on it so i can stick it to my left flat chest and I’ll have droopy leftie back!

The way the boobie lady demonstrates it is with the enthusiasm of a vacuum cleaner sales person and their bowling ball test. She sticks the stickie boobie to her palm, upends her palm so boobie is hanging to the floor, wiggles it and shows that it doesn’t come off! Oh the excitement on her face is priceless and one must try to keep a straight face but man, that is hard work because she is hilarious. She really loves her job!

Should I ever be hanging from the chandelier in some fancy sexual movement to be turning Dr Hands on, I can rest assured that new fake leftie will hang tight.

Now, where can I buy a chandelier…..

PS: I still have my hair, eyebrows, leg hairs and nose hairs. If this chemo doesn’t kick in soon I am really going to have to shave my legs. Seriously, who has the energy for that!!??

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