Today I felt like shit. Like, really yuck! I had to get up early because I had tradesmen due to be at my home between 8am and 12pm so I set my alarm, got up, showered, dressed, plugged door bell into the ensuite powerpoint, opened all the curtains and blinds and promptly went back to bed. Keep in mind that all of the windows have sheer curtains so I can see out but they can’t see in. I wanted the house to look as though I had been up for hours. Not entirely sure why I feel the importance of that but it is something I have always felt.
I hate tradies usually. I mean, they are great people and do a great job but I hate being given a four hour time frame as to when they’ll be there.
My idea of being dressed and ready and having the house looking like I’d been up for hours seemed genius to me (and my cousin Tam) and it bloody worked. One thing I didn’t bother with was putting Miss Fluff in. I put a bra on because bloody rightie is too big to be left unrestrained and blow me down with a feather, the tradies were HOT HOT HOT! Since when is a tradie hot? They are usually the older generation with lovely manners but not today. These boys were gorgeous and I should have been handing out my single friends and families phone numbers.
Tradies being hot of course is nothing to me because I have the man of my dreams but man, these guys were TV Commercial ready. Wow, who’d a thought you could get one hot tradesman let alone two??!
After they’d finished their job, I was still feeling really crappy and tired but I forced myself to jazz myself up a little more and took the drive to go and see my Granny. Remember Gran? The one I asked to knit me a square for my chemo good luck charm to be faced with a million questions? Yep, thats the one. Went to visit her and she made me laugh and I did feel better for seeing her. I really loved her comment being that I looked great and it didn’t look like I had recently had surgery. I didn’t want to frighten her by lifting up my t-shirt and showing her how recent surgery really did look hehe. She is just gorgeous though. We talked of many things as one does with Grannys and I just loved seeing her. This is a photo of my gran from geez, I recon about 30 or more years ago but trust me, she looks no different but boy she is shrinking. I could almost put her in my pocket and bring her home. She’d be like a pocket granny. How cool would that be?
Although I still felt crap by the time I got home, I am so glad I went to visit her because as we all know, my internal spa therapy (chemo) starts on Thursday arvo so I have been trying to get some jobs and visits done before this starts. How do you prepare for the unknown though?
I have been a bit snappy and Dr Hands said to me tonight that it is ok to blog about being scared of the internal spa therapy and you know what? I am not scared of it but I hate that I don’t know what it is going to be like for ME. I do love that people have told me that for them it has been ok or they’ve only had a bit of tiredness or nausea but how can I plan my life around the unknown? How do I know that I am going to be ok and be able to catch up with friends on the weekend? How do I know what I am going to feel like to eat or drink or do.
These are the things that give me the shits and make me snappy and cranky. Thankfully, my lovely bubbles have worked wonders in suppressing said feelings of the night time but they just dont work well with my morning gluten free weet bix.
I thought I had something funny happen today to tell you but for the life of me, I can’t remember so I will just leave you with my words of wisdom for the early morning tradies and how to sleep until they ring that door bell.
Thats it for me tonight. I am going to bed early (9:02pm) because I want to try and tackle some more of my George Orwells 1984 and get a decent night sleep.
I am still happy, feeling confident of a long, happy and healthy life so please dont take these recent shitty days as a pattern. Once my internal spa therapy starts, at least I’ll know what I will be in for during the next six months. xx