New Friends and Half a Head

So, poor Sam only has half a head at the moment. Why? Because I bit the other half off.

I am one crazed and psycho maniac right now. I am not sure why but boy am I angry. I can’t even blame the Tamoxifan because today is only day two but boy, something is making me angry.

Sam  never bites back but today, he said my name gruffly. I stopped in my tracks and all I could hear was my crazy ass bitch comment and irrational arguing. That would explain Sams lovely words recently and the quiet drive to Mt Barker today. The poor guy has been walking on egg shells.

After my last bite of his head, he wrapped his arms around me and just held me until I shut up and realised I was being a nut case. How Lucky Am I?

Is this what menopause like? Is it my early onset of menopause making me a lunatic? Sam even asked if he has death cover just in case. Eeeek.

I had better calm the eff down I tell you. I can hear myself now and I do not sound lovely at all.

Onto something a bit more exciting….. my early birthday presents arrived today and they look like this.

DSCN2306

How pretty are my girls? They are 18 weeks old and absolutely gorgeous. I spent a good half hour just sitting in with them while they pecked around and enjoyed the sunshine and grass. They have fluffy little bums, individual personalities and are so relaxing to be with. I could have sat there all afternoon but I needed to come in for something to eat and to tell you all about my girls (and Sam having half a head).

DSCN2322

My girls are a gift from Half a Head Sam and I thank him from the bottom of my heart. Just sitting in with them calmed me straight away. I will need to keep my eyeballs out for a nice bench seat to put in with the girls so I can send myself in there when I feel my cranky ass surfacing.

DSCN2327

The one at the very back is called Steffie Forrester. I am still thinking of names for the other two. One (the one closest to the camera) I am thinking of calling Ugly Betty but I am worried she will get a complex. The one in front of Steffie Forrester might get the name Ivy Forrester but I will think about it for a while. In any case, I love them all and I love the calmness they bring to me.

Considering I have a huge and massive and insane fear of birds, I am very proud of myself being able to sit and chatter away to these lovely three girls.

……. peace out …… breathe in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…. breathe out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

 

Chitter Chatter

Thanks to all who read my drunken blogs over the weekend.

For a week I had been suffering a fake flu caused by chemo. As no medication would fix said fake flu, I made a decision to remedy it myself with a few bottles of bubbles and blow me down with a feather, I woke up without a sniffle today! I could well be calling myself Dr Amanda Meow Bubbles Bailey but that could well end me in court again but we shant go into that right now.

Anyhoo, this week is chemo week. So, I have been to both chemists. One being ‘sip n save’ bottle shop for a few more bottles of bubbles and the other to the actual chemist for my anti nausea, headache and sleeping tablets. All ready for post Thursday spa therapy commonly known as chemotherapy.

Another thing for today is bloody crappola Auntie Flo visited. I woke with the words “Are you effin Serious?” Here are a few words for YOU Auntie Flow bitch face cow..

*Breast Cancer

*Chemo

*Lethargy

I do not have the time, energy or patience for Auntie Flo right now. For those of you who haven’t met Auntie Flo… She is that horrid bitch of a woman who visits most ‘teenagers’ and continues until middle age flooding her bloody yuck stuff for years on end right before that other Auntie called Aunt Menopause moves in. In any case, I dont get a choice as to when this horrid Auntie Flo visits but in all honesty, I thought she had died because chemotherapy brings on menopause and as I hadn’t had a visit from her since hospital, I assumed it was my time for Aunt Menopause to come along. Remember that visit? Lets not revisit that but anyway, it seems Auntie Flo is still visiting.

Here is another thing. Having cancer causes a hell of a lot of paperwork. Thankfully my gorgeous and amazing, soon to be inlaws, suggested Sam and I get income insurance when we built our home ‘just in case’. Unfortunately that just incase happened in the way of Breast Cancer so yay us, we are covered. Not 100% but still, any amount of money coming our way helps us keep our home and keeps our bills paid and food on the table. What is irritating is that paperwork.

Seriously, I would be all well and good to fill in the paperwork myself each month to send off to the insurance company to ensure my monthly payment is made. But, to make my surgeon or oncologist to also fill in this paperwork is insane.

People always talk about doctors and nurses being overworked (and Sam and I can totally agree and see this) but then to put forward paperwork every month for either my surgeon or oncologist to fill in four pages of paperwork is just wrong. These doctors and oncologists and nurses are there to help and serve their patients. They should not be bogged down with paperwork to ensure I get my income insurance is paid.

I had to wait weeks and weeks for my amazing surgeon to fill in the first lot of paperwork, I had to phone three times to get this paperwork back. Each and every time I phoned, I felt bloody awful because this man had cut the fist sized cancer out of my body, had taken 9 cancerous lymph nodes from my body, in short, saved my life, but here I was begging his receptionist to get him to fill that paperwork in so I could pay the mortgage.

Why does someone who has spent half of their life learning to save lives, to cut out cancer, to give impeccable bedside service and so much more, have to fill in so much paperwork so that the people he saved, can get their insurance money. I am more than happy for a representative from the insurance company to come visit me, view my scars, look at my medicine cabinet and look at me, and then realise that yes, I am still fighting cancer. Yes, my chemo still makes me quite sick. Yes, my lethargy stops me even going out for coffee.

It makes me angry that the insurance companies make these amazing surgeons and oncologists take their time away from saving people from this crappy disease to fill in paperwork.

On an end note, it is super freezing in the Adelaide Hills right now so I shall go and stoke that fire, grab some socks and snuggle in for a few hours on my new bean bag with my Janeeee blankee and watch a spot of TV before bed.

Todays Featured Image is a photo of my mums gorgeous Peppie who I babysat one time. He was so nervous having to stay with Brady (Big White Dog) and I in the city but once he settled in, this was the smile we received xx. How gorgeous is he? Just looking at this little boy makes me smile 🙂

IMG_0040 9