Cancer is Lonely …..

As the title says, cancer can be lonely but also, so very boring. I can fault no one for making me feel lonely except for the chemo treatment given.

This is going to sound a little strange but I think this is the best treatment I have had. I had it on Thursday 2nd of July and had a sensational two days following. I felt upbeat, energised, hungry and happy.

Come Sunday, that all goes to shit. I am not tired, can’t stay awake, have no interest in talking, eating, drinking or even opening my eyes for that matter.

Today is Wednesday and beside the battle between ‘Bailey and Brady’, nothing much has happened.

I am Bailey.

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This is Brady

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As any dog trainer knows, dogs have their behavioral changes at the age of 2 and 7. Brady is going through age 7 behavior change and we are butting heads. He is being ever so naughty. Not coming to me when I quietly and gently request. Looks on at me mockingly when I request he remove his smelly butt from my sofa etc

But, beside all that, I have felt that I have done nothing but sleep since Sunday until today, Wednesday evening. I felt ever so teary earlier today but that was just some girly crap and went away quick enough.

What I am so very thankful for is my wonderful neighbours in my lovely little village. Dr Hands went and bought me a bottle of bubbles because I needed something to give me a lift and that whole bottle didn’t even touch the sides. A quick text next door to Night Nurse and all was good in the world as a new bottle of bubbles arrived at my door step (do not judge one with cancer) and we even had some lovely chats, laughs and gossip.

Speaking of neighbours, did you know these neighbours of mine are from England and dont eat until around 8pm at night??? Who the hell eats at that time of night? Well, they do……… it is just wrong if you ask me but moving on…

You have no idea that sleeping from Sunday to Wednesday night can be so lonely until you go through it. And this comes from someone like me who loves her bed, own company, books, dogs etc. If I can become lonely and teary through this spa treatment  effect, I dread to imagine how it would be for someone a little more social and sun shinier than me.

I dont want to sound like a lecturer but seriously, if you have a friend or neighbour going through this shitty illness, extend a hand. Weather it be an ear or a chatty mouth, please give it. If I can be teary because of no company, and I have a Dr Hands in my life, then I dread to think what it would be like for someone more social than myself.

My High note of the week was a sensational package left in my letterbox (I missed my visit from postie Ashley) which was a gorgeous square from Josie who is an amazing lady at work. She has made some amazing gluten free treats for me at work so it was quite a surprise to get a square from her!! Also, what I should mention more than anything, is the notes, letters and cards I receive with these squares. Thank you so much Josie for my lovely square which actually almost matches another square I have here ……

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Isn’t this square just amazing? I love it to bits n pieces.

Goodness, I have been awake for about three hours now, must be time for sleep. Honestly, I am managing about 3 hours at maximum of being awake before needing hours more worth of sleep. So, if I dont reply to your text, email or facebook message, it is probably because I am sleeping…

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs

Questions, Auntie Janet and Jodie & the Rectangle

Here are a few things I never thought I’d say…

My eyebrows are still here!  Whilst most of my hair is disapearing, I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes. But, they have started itching and I see the odd brow hair fall in front of my eyeballs so I should appreciate them while I have them.

Why wont my hair fall out faster? Weird one hey? Well, most of my head hair is gone but there is this one shadow of spikes at the crown of my head and just to the left that keep growing. I told Dr Hands I was trying to decide weather to grow it into a nice long plait or have a hair cut. Decisions Decisions.

When did I last poop? I am a poopaholic and as regular as a rabbit. Until now that is. Thanks Chemo!

My missing boob hurts. Yep, that’s a comment I use a lot now and it always sounds strange to me.

Where is my boob? I usually put Dolly (my prosthetic friend) in her little home to keep her in a nice shape and easy to find but, on the odd occasion I have had a wee bit too much to drink, Dolly can find herself in some pretty strange places. That is not a good thing because I have two very playful dogs who, if they find Dolly, will probably rip her to shreds.

I’m not hungry. Look at the size of me, does it look like I say those words very often? This chemo bizzo could well do me a bit of good.

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Remember my post on my Auntie Janet who made me an entire blanket that is so colourful and amazing and everything, well this is my wonderful Auntie and myself about 8 or 9 years ago I think. 🙂

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Auntie Janet and Me 🙂

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On another note, I got the funniest card today with another gorgeous square that turned into a rectangle but I love it and I love it’s story. It came from a work friend Jodie. Now, the world knows we’ve had our ups and downs but it has been so lovely to have received messages from her and now this. I must say, it had me giggling. I hope you dont mind me sharing your words Jodie….

Hey Amanda,

Here is my ‘square’ at last. Well actually, it’s a rectangle or 2 squares in one!

The whole knitting thingy has been hilarious, so I think I need to share the story…..

Firstly I buy wool and needles from a reputable knitting shop ‘The Reject Shop’, get home, I can do this – I’ve knitted 100’s of times as a kid…. lol, where’s my mum or nanna to cast on … so, onto you tube to learn – done! I got so carried away casting on that when I was five rows in, I realised this is going to take forever because it’s too wide!!

Never mind, keep knitting, then one night I was so enthralled in my knitting until I came across a knot in the wool, then another so I pulled up the wool to find it attached to my ‘kitten’ Molly (molly is a maltese x by the way) who had managed to slobber, chew and tangle herself in wool so there is a bit of Molly in my ‘square’.

So, I lost interested and started a crochet rug… lol also learnt on you tube.

Early this week Lachlan (Jodies son) told me off for crocheting when I should be finishing off the square for the lady at work. He then suggested he learn and he’ll finish it. So, I thought him and the last few ‘holey’ rows are by Lachlan.

Last night decided if I wait for my square to be square it will be Xmas 2020!! so casted off (thanks to you tube) and here is my rectangle. (& Lauchie & Molly). Anyway, take care hon, hugs for Sam.

Always love, Jodie

Thank you so much Jodie…. love it 🙂

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