It is not a cold, It’s Chemo!!

The title says it all. I feel like crap.

Since I woke up this morning I have had a sore throat, sneezing with runny nose, slight cough and kick ass headache.

I did have to take the hard core pain relief in the way of Panadene Forte with lunch (3 pieces of gluten free toast). It eased the pain but didn’t take it away. I did survive the pain though so don’t panic ok?

My ‘feelings’ today are as follows…

** Hair Loss from my stubble head (itchy and prickly)

** Nose hair falling out causing itchiness up my nose and constant sneezing

** Headaches, like, really bad now.

** Very sore throat which I thought was an oncoming cold but Dr Hands reminded me is Chemo related

** Dizziness

** Nausea

** Sore Teeth

So, apparently, these are all symptoms and reactions from my spa therapy (chemo) which occurred almost three weeks ago. I have another spa treatment in two days. Ugh, I thought I was doing great but these last two days have not been so great. Obviously one expects all of the horrible feelings for the week following chemo but man, three weeks later? Geez, just when I was starting to feel great…

Another thing that has me worried is that lyphodema. I do not care how it is spelt because obviously I spell it wrong every time I get a red line under the word. anyway, I have noticed my left hand (my left armpit had 9 out of 20 lymph nodes removed) has started to swell.

Please please please dont let me get this lyphodema too. Is stage three breast cancer not enough? Give me a break!

The great things that occurred today are…

** My postie Ashley yelling out “what did you do to your head?” and we then had a big breast cancer chat

** My gorgeous Auntie asking for my postal address to send an entire rug she has made for me!!

** No bills recieved from Ashley (post man)

** Finding out I dont have a cold, it’s just chemo related illness!

** Lots of chats with Tamara

** A small burst of energy creating fresh linen on bed, cleaned ensuite, two loads of laundry and a load of dishes washed in dishwasher.

** Lots of love from Kelly and Brady

** The forest of dreams in Lady Land is being harvested from the chemo medicine. I was totally excited to see those curly hairs on my soap today !! Yippeeeee… now moved down to my legs and I”ll be one happy lady

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Today at 2:15pm I ran my fingers through my hair and there it was. The start of the baldness. The hair loss. The lovely locks are on their way out. Don’t ask me how I knew what the time was, or even the relevance. I just remember the time.

Anyhoo, we all know that was going to happen but what no one told me was the itchiness. The last few days I have been itching my head like a lice/nits infested child. Constant scratching. I didn’t think much of that at the time, beside it being a bit annoying but now, because it has started to fall out, it is even itchier.

This has me thinking. What happens when the forest of dreams downstairs in lady land starts falling out? How on earth am I going to be able to go around scratching that? A head is easy because you can do that discreetly by ‘running your fingers through your hair and having a scratch on the way through’. Well, I can’t actually do that now because where will I put the hand fulls of hair if I am in the supermarket?

I can’t ‘accidentally’ rub myself on the trolly because then it’ll look like  I am masturbating in public and could possibly get arrested. Oh man, this is going to be a tough one.

I can hear you saying, just shave it now. Well, have you ever shaved ‘down there’? It grows back super duper itchy if you haven’t done it for a while and what if it isn’t ready to fall out yet and comes back itchy from the growth AND the hair loss. See my dillema here?

Well, tomorrow I am going to ask Dr Hands to shave my head because already, this hair loss is annoying. Not just the itchiness but the bits of hair that are on my body. It is like I am constantly walking through spider webs or that I have some out of control body tick. I absolutely hate random hair on my shoulders, arms, in my sandwich etc.

So tomorrow is the day. I’ll try not to think of ‘lady land’ and hope she doesn’t have me walking around with my hands down my pants having a good ol’ scratch.

I’ll leave you tonight with that image….

The Unichable Itch

Featured image

How weird is the title? Well, imagine what it says. You have an itch, mine is under my left arm where my left boob has been removed.

When I try to itch it, I can’t feel myself itching it. The itch remains itchy even while I try to itch it! It is a funny, annoying and unless you have lived it, quite hard to make someone understand exactly what I mean.

And itch, wow, does it itch! It doesn’t end. Constantly I feel the need to itch under my arm or near the under arm of the left boozie boobie that has left me but itching it gives me no relief because the damn area is still quite numb.

I must admit here and now, I do entertain myself. I mean look at me. I have breast cancer. I am missing an entire breast (thankfully it was the breast with the hair on it that was taken away), I have had nine out of 20 lymph nodes removed, a scar from my chest bone to under my arm and here I am, complaining about an itch that can not be scratched.

Bet you wish you were me right now hey?