Turns out I wasn’t the medical miracle I thought I was. Lets start from the beginning…
A few nights ago (Monday), my dressings on my boobectimy wound were coming off. It was probably from the excessive sweating I am still trying to deal with and the incredibly long, tank emptying showers I am having. Yes, we live on tank water, we don’t have mains water like them city folk, so usually we only have short showers but seeing as though I didn’t shower in the home for over a week, I felt that a few long ones would be quite acceptable.
Anyway, Monday night the dressings started to peel off and me being the picker that I am, I just had to peel it off. I am like that with everything, scabs, sores, that sticky plastic stuff on new phones, computers, phones etc so you can imagine my absolute ‘need’ to peel off the rest of the dressings. Having half of the dressing hanging off was driving me nuts. So, I pulled it off.
Let me tell you, it looks great! The scar goes from the middle of the breast bone right over under the arm pit but seriously, it looks ok. I did call Night Nurse Clare to pop over and have a look to make sure it was all OK and I passed with flying colours, she thought it looked great too.
I went a bit downhill after all that on Monday Night and I think it may be right down to the flu shot I had on Saturday. I am known as being a bit slow but seriously, taking two days for the flu shot to kick in is really taking it too far hehe. Anyway, I went to bed Monday night and woke up Wednesday morning. Ok, granted, I woke to pee. I woke to a phone call from my Auntie (I still cant work out if she rang today or yesterday), another call from Mum late Monday afternoon, Sam waking me upon his return from work to see if I was ok because he hasn’t found me still in bed after he has finished work for a long time, but other than all that, I slept a lot. I didn’t even wake for dinner and those that know me, that is one big deal. Nothing comes between me and dinner. Oh, maybe sparkling wine but that’s it!
Today, Wednesday, I felt my chest where Leftie used to live. I feel it most days to ensure there is no hard swelling or leaking of unknown fluids and today, it felt like a boob was growing. I could even ‘cup’ the area. I was totally excited and couldn’t wait to tell Sam. This was the first time I had properly felt it without all the bandaging and it felt good. A little rough with the stitches but it still felt good.
This is where my man comes in handy with that listening thing. He admitted my leftie felt as though it had ‘grown’ and he could also cup it but then went on to blah blah blah and tell me about the nurse or doctor or someone important telling us it would swell a bit to feel like a boob but will go down again. Bloody Hell! I thought I was going to be a medical miracle. One would would grow a boob back and not needing a reconstruction. Seems to me that I was kidding myself. No medical miracle here. Oh well, I did have a few hours feeling quite special and almost prepared myself for the TV interviews, the newspapers wanting to print my boob and story.
Does that sound dull? Well, to a boobectimy patient it was exciting. Ones mind does go into over drive because of the following
1. Boredom. There isn’t much to do when recovering from the boobectimy, chores are limited due to the left side being a bit ouchy and tender.
2. Drugs. The painkillers can reduce the pain and tenderness of the left side but you still know there is pain there so the painkillers give you even more exciting thoughts and ideas. Seriously, there have been days I felt I could take on the world with my ideas
3. The Unknown. I have deliberately not searched for information on breast cancer. I have read other peoples blogs and read their stories but I have avoided all Dr Google sites. I did this through pregnancy too. I didn’t do the whole birthing classes, didn’t read the books, didn’t really know anyone intimately enough to hear their stories. I am one for not knowing and allowing my experience be just that, my experience. If I read the Dr Google sites, the what if’s, the could be’s, I would drive myself batty so I prefer the unknown. But it does leave me open to all of these fantasy outcomes like growing a new boob hehe.