The Professor Said – Stay Fat!

Yep, you read it right here, I am to stay fat!

My surgeon wants me to lose weight, my oncologist just wants me to go for some gentle walks three times a week and my professor, the one who is sorting out my radiation stuff says no, dont lose weight yet.

This would be the reason I ate half a tub of Ben and Jerrys triple caramel ice cream after dinner tonight.

It is really hard to keep all of them happy so I have to choose the doctor, or professor in this case, that sounds right. He said something about if I lost a lot of weight, all of the settings for my radiation would need to be done again. Well, we cant have THAT now, can we?

Something else that happened recently was a lovely group of girls came over to visit me and drink and eat with me and laugh with me. Well, one of the girls we’ll call TK for the purpose of this blog, thought my teary eyes when they arrived was because I was so happy to see them. She is one who will get a bit teary in some situations. Like, you know, when you meet up with someone at the airport, you might get a bit weepy in the eyes etc.

After an hour, my eyes were still weeping and she realised that no, it was not because I was STILL emotional from their visit but was chemo related hehe. How cute is that?

Hmmmm what else can I tell you? Oh, today was the 3rd radiation visit so that leaves only 30 visits to go. I finish up on Christmas Eve.

I am going to shave my head again. It is growing but only on the sides still and nothing in the middle. So, I look like a bald fat old man which is not the look I am going for. And the hair on the sides is almost fluffy. It isn’t even real hair so I can’t even get excited about it. There is no use having it there. It is even long enough not for me to get ‘bed hair’. Usually, the side hair sticks out, like, straight out. When I get up, one side will be flat and the other sticky out. Off it is going to come.

Oh thats right, I meant to tell you this ages ago. Well, last week anyway. I went to the chemist (no, not the local one with Mary but a city one) and the young girl says to me, would you like to enter our raffle. I said ‘yeah sure, whats the prize?’ and she points to a basket at the end of the counter. The basket was full of hair care products. I am standing at the counter, bald except for my sticky out side hair and no hair in the middle and she is offering me to enter a competition to win hair spray and mousse and shampoos and conditioners. I said, oh thats nice, I guess I’ll have hair one day and she looked at ME with a confused look!! At least the ladies to the side of me thought it was funny.

Alright, thats about it for me for the moment. I am on a massive sugar high which is not good at this time of night 7:20pm, I could be bouncing off the walls all night.

balding

I Am On Cancer Leave.

I don’t have much to report today. I am a bit blugh but not in a bad way. I am just a little flat. It might be because there is nothing really happening right now. I am walking around still carrying drippy, still sore, still lop sided and still in this mornings pyjamas and it is after 9pm at night.

Geez, that sounds really quite pathetic and sooky hey, but I am generally ok beside what I have said above. I pooped today which made me smile. I slept amazingly well last night which also made me smile. I guess I am not great at recovering from surgery. I feel that there should be something happening now but there isn’t.

So, I spent my day filling in paperwork for my income insurance, medicare documents, phoning the bank to explain my situation and to see what options are available (yes I know I know, I work in the industry but my mortgage isn’t with the bank I work with so I had to double check that they had the same options available), made my post operation appointment, oncology appointment and booked Brady in for a total hair cut. He is so woolly at the moment that I am frightened he is going to be mistaken as one of the local sheep and boy is he filthy! Building a house is great and beautiful and everything is new except for the garden. We managed to get the front garden done and finished and looking lovely but the back yard, well, it is dirt. Mud sometimes, but dirt and it loves to stick to Brady. I think it might be a while off now until we pave or deck that area as we had planned to do so by having Brady shaved, it’ll save him bringing in a lot of that dirt and mud. Oh, I best not start chatting to you about Brady because this entire blog could then revolve around that wonderful boy of mine.

Oh, there is something I want to talk about actually, it is being fat. Most of you know I am a wee bit overweight, ok, a lot but anyway, I found something out about chemo. You get fat! I do not have room to put on anymore weight. Why can’t there be a benefit to this cancer bizzo like weight loss or something? Isn’t it enough that I am going to lose my hair (I hope I have a beautiful scalp), lose my eyelashes and eyebrows, will get mouth ulcers (that is going to suck for a fat chick who loves food),  and I’ll  put on weight! I know I’ll end up with lovely boobies eventually but geez, can I have something to enjoy in the mean time? Why can’t something amazing happen like, end up with beautiful glowing skin, or the tightening of my bum and leg muscles, make me smarter… something positive would really be nice. Oh hang on, there is something positive, it will save my life. Yeah ok, that’ll do.

And another thing. Why can’t we have ‘cancer leave’ like we do with ‘maternity leave’? That would be super handy for us cancer people. It is seeming to be quite an expensive illness at this time and I imagine it is only going to get more expensive so being on ‘cancer leave’ from work would be very beneficial right now. I am hoping there wont be too much of a hassle obtaining this income insurance. The insurance company obviously ask a lot of questions and the paperwork is generic but one of the questions is ‘when did you notice your illness’. Isn’t that a bizzare question? They also ask when you first went to the doctor and then when you received confirmation of the illness but the question as to when you noticed your illness I thought was quite out there.

So my plans for the next few days are to accept I have had major surgery as advised to me by Pauline and Dr Hands, accept I have to rest, relax and reduce the thoughts in my head. I will pick up my book and lose myself in the words and worlds of others. I shall feel no guilt in doing so either because this is what I need to do. The pain killers are good when they are working but they make me feel I can do much more than I should really be doing so I will listen to the professionals and not my endone brain.

Want to know what I am reading right now? The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins. I am absolutely loving this book and it fascinates me that I can enjoy a book where I do not like the characters. They aren’t nice people but I can’t put the book down. I am almost finished this book and you know what comes after that? Choosing a new book to read. That is one of my favourite things to do in life, choosing the next book to read and I have lots of books in my ‘To Be Read’ pile.

Well, thanks for sticking with me through this rambling session. I feel better now, do you? 🙂