My Heaving Bosom (and Brady Update)

In the olden days of BC (Before Cancer), I would sometimes see ladies with shirts that seemed a little too small for them. Their shirts would stretch across their boobs and almost make the poor button pop in exasperation trying to hold everything together.

Now, well, I am one of those women.

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FYI – This is NOT me NOR my heaving bosoms! Just a pic so you can see what I am talking about.

I have a HEAVING BOSSOM!

It is so awesome and I LOVE IT!

My shirts are now too tight and the fabric is stretched to the max and the little buttons are earning their keep, keeping the left and right side of the fabrics together.

I don’t even care. I am out there strutting my stuff almost yelling for people to LOOK AT MY HEAVING BOSSOM!

So, I either accept this new me, with my stretched shirt and big boobie (the original boob is still not rising to the occasion) or, be still my husbands racing heart! I Go Shopping!

Ok, I am going to go shopping the moment I have some money but let me tell you, am loving this busty new me.

I was out walking today on my lunch break (working from home)(first walk since surgery) and I saw a lady coming toward me and I thought, I bet she is saying to herself, “who is this busty, skinny looking woman before me”?

Ok, it was Kate from across the road and I doubt she said any such thing to herself but I do love my imaginary thoughts of other peoples thoughts so lets run with that ok?

Update on pain, it is manageable. There is still discomfort along my stomach scar line when I wear fitted pants or, undies (snort, I said undies). Walking and even stretching is tedeious and tight but, today was day 1 of quite a few that I have to undertake before heading back into the city office and, I really enjoyed it.

I am working from home at the moment which is an incredibly fortunate thing to be able to do when working for such a big corporation and each and every day I am so thankful to be able to do this. Not only for my recovery from this reconstruction surgery but also, to spend the last few days/weeks with my boy Brady.

How’s he going I hear you ask? Well, I don’t hear you but I imagine you are all here to just find out how Brady is tracking.

He is bloody well loving life at the moment. Ok, not loving it as such with trying to get around on three legs with great pains in the cancer side and all but check these pictures out…

Saturday Breakfast

Silverside and Roast Veg Night

Spaghetti Night

Bro and Sis

This last picture is very special because Brady and Kelly NEVER sleep this close to one another. Brady gets cross at sharing his space and usually walks away. On this day, he was too worn out to argue and just accepted that Kelly wanted to look after her big brother. xx

 

How to say Goodbye to Brady….

I loooooove animals. I can just ooh and aah my way through facebook for hours on end looking at all the animals in the world but, there is one animal that has captured my heart from the moment I met him and has continued to do so for his whole life.

Having said the above, I am not usually one to be absolutely smitten with a puppy. I love them, enjoy cuddling them, adore their puppy smells but, can walk away and not think of them again.

Until I met Brady.

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Baby Brady Bailey-Wilkinson (8 Weeks Old)

I had gone to Willunga to meet my new boyfriends family and they were Groodle breeders. Sam (then boyfriend, now husband) asked if I wanted to go and see the puppies and I shrugged and said ok.

There they were, lots and lots of puppies, all scrambling for my attention as well as the mum and dad of said puppies. All of these white/cream dogs, wet noses pushing through the gate hoping for a scratch or pat and then I saw him.

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Brady didn’t want to stop growing (12 weeks old)

A rolly poly fat little dopey puppy, sitting all on his own, looking around as though he couldn’t work out where everyone else went. They were all of five feet in front of him but he didn’t seem to know that so just sat there looking as gorgeous as can be.

Well, that was the end of me.

Brady And Kelly (Both 6 Months Old)

I hadn’t had a dog in years and didn’t really pine for one until Brady. Oh I thought of him day and night after that first meeting. That first cuddle when Sam handed him to me when I asked if I could hold him. His big little paws seemed to wrap themselves around me neck to have a longer, more snuggly cuddle.

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Brady trying to get his fur back (and I have my natural 2 boobs!)

That was, until the day Sam bought Brady down to my city apartment and we became a couple. Brady and I. Me and Brady. We were a team and my gosh he was one handsome fellow.

Nine years later we are the best of friends but something has changed.

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Now, it isn’t me fighting the horrid cancer but my boy Brady. Unlike me, Brady doesn’t have an action plan to get rid of it. It is deep within him and now it is up to Sam and I to keep him comfortable, provide him with all of his favourite treats and give him as many cuddles as we possibly can until the day comes.

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He is on his pain medication to keep him comfortable. He sleeps a lot.

He also knows something is wrong.

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Sometimes Brady became a little too obsessed with is toys and one day, Papa Sam took all of his toys away. Brady then found a piece of sandpaper and bought it to me to ‘throw’ for him. I almost did a little wee in my pants from laughing at his serious face. 

 

Since when is he aloud to sit on Papa Sams sofa and eat a whole packet of salt and vinegar chips with him?

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When did Mama Bailey decide I can have a bone in her office while she is working?

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The tumor is in his left hip and has created a great deal of pain in his left leg that he can put no weight on it.

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This does not stop him bringing his ball to us in the hope we’ll throw it for him to chase. I have tried to explain to Brady that running after a ball on three legs on timber floor boards is going to create all kinds of havoc.

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Brady sleeps in my home office while I work through the day (geez, I must clean those windows!)

He doesn’t quite get it.

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Unhappily medicated and cold on the morning of 14/9/2017

We have carpet runners now all through the house because he simply can’t manoeuvre his three working legs on the slippery floor boards. Thankfully we have a great community that has donated carpet to us. Thank you Kirsty Binney.

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Mr Bald Bum – Where the vet took the biopsy

The time hasn’t come yet to say our goodbyes to our boy. We don’t know how many days or weeks we have left but I can assure you, each and every day our Brady is with us, it is going to be a day to bring Brady something worth wagging his tail for.

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Third to Last Chemo Today

I have been a bit of a sook as of late which is why I haven’t blogged. I had such an awesome week last week so really, I shouldn’t complain. Last week consisted of taking myself out 2 days in a row! One of those days catching up with a friend for lunch and coffee and then a spot of shopping.

The weekend I had my Mum, soon to be Father in Law and Mother in Law over for a delish lamb roast lunch to celebrate FIL and MiLS upcoming birthdays and fathers day as it is more than likely I will be too poorly to celebrate on the actual days.

Look at this feast!

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Then come this week, blugh, can’t poop, have no energy, sunshine outside my window that I can’t enjoy blah blah.

But after today, I will have only 2, count them people, 2 chemos left!! How good does that sound. AND, I am getting some hair growing on my head!!

I have so many plans for when I am feeling amazing so watch out…. These pages are going to be filled with all sorts of wonderful things.

My week was perked up by a visit from my favourite postie Ashley with a lovely and amazing gift from the Naulty Family. Inside the parcel was an amazing neck warmer (you know those scarfs that are joined together?) with the cutest matching mittens. Amazing warming socks and a little card consisting of a hug. I can carry this card around and when I am feeling not so positive and amazing, I am reminded there is a hug in my purse for me. Thank you so much Christine and Family xx.

Here is a photo of my boy out and about with Sam and FIL (Future father in law). My FIL is an amazing photographer.

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And here is our girl Kelly, first time off the lead in her seven years and she did great!

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My Boy Brady Bailey-Wilkinson

Anyone that knows Brady Bailey-Wilkinson will know he is a bit of a character. I will throw in a few words about him at random….

* Big

* White (at times)

* Happy

* Loving

* Dopey

Brady is a Groodle (Golden Retriever x Standard Poodle), also known as a Golden Doodle in other countries.

Dopey is the big and often common name used for Brady. He is absolutely hilarious in the fact he can walk into a wall that has been there forever and look up from his bop, very confused. Throw a ball, peice of meat or any type of toy and he can catch it with his eyes closed. We will never work out his bopping of his head constantly on tables, walls, doors etc.

Whilst Brady is a mama’s boy, when Papa is out working in the yard, weather it be chopping wood for the fire, gardening or, like today, building a chicken coop for me, Brady must be out there helping him.

Sam has locked him in the house on the odd occasion for Bradys safety (apparently) and it really upsets Brady and he paces the house like Rain Man. There are certain things in Bradys life that need to be his way and if Papa is out working in the yard, then Brady needs to be there with him.

Kelly on the other hand, would rather be curled up near her mama or near the fire where it is warm and like her mama, has no interest or energy to help out Papa and Brady.

The funny thing with Brady lately (since the cancer bizzo) Brady has changed a few of his ways. He seems to have caught on to a few things like, Mama isn’t always available now. Mama needs gentle Brady, not jump up on my lap Brady.

He is often locked out of the bedroom when I am in ‘recovery’ stage of chemo and once in a while, he finds his way in and is so very quiet. I only know he is there from the feel of his breath of my cheek. I give him a quick pat and he gently pads back out to see Papa. It is like he knows when Mama is resting and when Mama needs a cuddle and when she just needs to be checked upon.

Today, while Brady is out ‘working’ on the coop with Papa, he feels the need to run up the hill, through the side door, race up the long hall way to check on me every twenty minutes or so. As I am up and out of bed, Brady must pop his head in my face, have a quick pat and chat and then he is back outside to work. This gorgeous boy of mine certainly has a gift in being able to put a smile on my face in times of sadness, pain, discomfort or just simple tiredness.

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Baby Brady – 7 Weeks Old

Brady was one of the most wonderful gifts given to me from Sam, aka Papa, Dr Hands, Bossy Boots, etc As you can see in his puppy photo, he was HUGE and gorgeous. He was bred by Sam’s parents and is, in my opinion, the best of them all. I absolutely adore this big boy of mine.

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Baby Brady – 9 Weeks Old

He grew, though, a lot!

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And Shaggier….

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But look what happens to him in the summer months…

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He has a wee little shave to keep him cool, tidy and neat.

This month my boy turns 7 years old.

Just a quick note on my ‘feelings’ for today

* Cold

* Thirsty

* Headache (very mild)

* Nausea (very mild)

I had a great sleep last night but I must say it was aided by some sleeping tablets. This could be the reason I feel a wee bit better today.

Not Another Boob!!??

So, it would seem that my ‘wound’ just loves to collect fluid and it looks like I am growing a new boob. Remember a while back when I thought I might be a medical miracle? When I thought I had a new boob growing in the area where the old, cancer filled boob had been removed. Now, it’s back.

This shouldn’t bother me because also remember the 22 huge needle syringes that went into the area to take away the fluid build up? Well, I am worried because I am getting more and more feeling back in that area. This time, if my surgeon doesn’t give me some sort of local numbing agent or general knock thing, it ain’t gonna happen. You may well raise your eyebrows but YOU have not seen the size of the needle. And remember how many times he stuck that thing in my pretend boob? 22 times. That is a lot of times into the one area while he sucked out so much disgusting fluid.

So, I shall cross my fingers, toes and what ever I can in the hope that it is not done al’natural.

Tomorrow I visit my oncologist and book in all the wonderful cancer killing chemotherapy.

I will be totally honest, I had absolutely no concerns about chemo what so ever. That was, until I read a fellow bloggers blog on ‘after the chemo’. Her first chemo post was great. I was bragging to Dr Hands (Sam) about how well she did and she even took selfies. I did advise that like me, she was HER2 positive and therefore the chemo went for 5 hours instead of 2 hours. I was blah blahing about how wonderful it was and how I was fine with it all until today.

Today she wasn’t going so well. She wrote about one of my favourite things, poo, but even I was aghast with that was coming out of her body. I will try and link or join or something to her blog because like me, she doesn’t leave anything to the imagination.

Friends like Jodie, perhaps dont read what she has to say but all others, go hard! She writes beautifully about poop but now it is all becoming a bit too real. I don’t care about the hair loss. I don’t care about being tired. Being as big as I am, I don’t care about losing my appetite but man, the stuff that came out of her bum has me worried.

Be prepared, I feel I might just be writing a very similar blog to her soon. What did make me sad is that she had planned a big get together for Mothers Day (from memory) and really struggled through the meal, the being awake for it all when all she wanted to do was be home in bed.

I assume that her family and friends, just like mine will be, would have been fine with her pulling out even though she had planned it all. You can not know how you will feel after chemo can you? Some people seem to breeze through it and others, don’t go so well.

A close friend of mine wrote that she was at work one day, wig on, pasty face, and was spitting pieces of teeth. I have been advised by my breast care nurses to have a dental check before I go to chemo. I must say, I did have a giggle at her description of spitting teeth bits.

A bit of sad news today is that both of my babies now have kennel cough. My poor boy Brady Bailey-Wilkinson (as seen in the featured image) is showing early signs of the kennel cough where as Kelly has proven the antibiotics have worked a treat. Gone is the Kelly of yesterday and last night who couldn’t sleep or snuggle enough to the Kelly of our usual days racing around the house, chasing Brady and toys. She still stops in front of the combustion fire to warm up and sleep but is much better. Bradys cough has only just started so I’ll take him off to the vet tomorrow and get him his antibiotics to get him better.