Typical Pro Chemo Week

I have done nothing but sleep as per usual following my very last chemo session but what I love about it, I dont give a shit.

Usually when I am bed ridden, suffering constipation, followed by hemorrhoids, tears, tantrums etc I am an absolute sook and can not be consoled. But this time, I am A OK. This is it. No more chemo. Fingers crossed, no more backed up poops due to the endone and other medication.

What was the reason I popped in here for…..?

Um, shit, let me think.

Oh, thats right. I just read a lady complaining that she couldn’t afford to purchase her husbands birthday gift due to medical bills and all other life time bills that never end.

With cancer, there needs to be a ‘on pause’ card, or something similar.

My partner and I have total and full health insurance and pay a grand amount for this and even still, we are very strapped for cash through this cancer bizzo.

All in Australia dollars, I pay approx $150.00 per month for health insurance. This is the top health insurance you can purchase and when I did my tax this year, I found I had spent over $5,700 out of pocket for what my health insurance and Medicare did not cover.

Why on earth do people pay for health insurance?

Well, I’ll tell you why. I overheard my amazing oncologist on the phone last Thursday when I was being blasted with more chemo and he stated on the phone to his receptionist that he simply could not take on another five ‘public’ patients. This is why my diagnosis, surgery and chemo has been so quick.

Yes, I complain about my health insurance fees (as well as my home, car, contents and what not) but at the end of the day, it has saved my life and time. I can’t even imagine how I would feel having to wait for surgery, results, more surgery, more therapy etc.

A bit of a good news story is I had sent Dr Hands to the local bottle shop (remember, we live in a country town) to buy two bottles of red wine for my amazing GP who home visits me for no cost to give me my after chemo injection every three weeks, and Dr Hands came home with an amazing bottle of bubbles. It was a bottle of Mumm which is quite pricey. I asked him why he had purchased this bottle along with the red wine for the doctor and it turns out that the owner of the local had donated amazing bottle of bubbles to me knowing that my last chemo session had just been had. My local bottle shop had donated a $50.00 bottle of bubbles to me out of the kindness of their hearts knowing what I had been through.

My point of the generosity of my local bottle shop is not the price of the bubbles but the fact that they remembered, they’ve been through this journey with me and they cared. Would this happen in the city? I hope it does happen in the city and all over because seriously, going through the shit of cancer, chemo and so forth, it is lovely to have someone recognize the crap you’ve been through and have rewarded you at the end.

This week, it’s been tough, but knowing it is my last ever post chemo dealings seriously makes my life a lot easier. My hair is growing so long and amazing except for the middle section which is as shiny as a diamond, so I look like an 80’s rock band producer. Sam and I have agreed to shave it all off again in a couple of weeks because a woman with beautiful platinum blonde (No Not Grey) with a receding hair line just doesn’t look lovely.

Anyone who is interested in my life of hemorrhoids, yep, they’re still the bane of my life and I cry and shiver and shake and am like someone being tortured every time I go to the toilet so I will be not sad to leave this part of the cancer/chemo journey behind.

My gorgeous father in law popped in during the week and dropped off a couple of bottles of bubbles, a punnet of strawberries and a pink ribbon ring which totally brightened my day. He is amazing.

My amazing mother still brings me flowers every weeks she comes over on the weekend. I was getting worried for a while because my house was starting to look like a funeral parlour but is now looking just lovely with pretty flowers. My mother in law to be bought over some gorgeous flowers from her garden that also came with a bottle of bubbles which was also a lovely gesture because she was heading off interstate and wouldn’t be around to celebrate my final chemo session.Β  There seems to be a pattern going on with the bubbles. And I love it πŸ™‚

I haven’t updated my ‘books’ section of this blog for a while but just know, I have finished every single Game of Thrones book and OMG, what a book hangover I had from that. This is seriously an amazing series of books. I couldn’t put them down. I love the fact that any person of any age can read these books and love them. I say this because I got my mum into them, Dr Hands has watched every episode, and I know a lot of other people who have either read or watched the series.

I will update my book section soon though because I have read so many books through this cancer/chemo journey.

So as you can see, there is nothing new to report today. But I guess I just wanted to get some words out, let you know I am doing ok, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, can’t wait to get back to work, can’t wait to start attending events, birthdays, weddings and what ever else comes along.

One last thing, my neighbour comes home today from England!!! It has been torture seeing her car in her driveway knowing I can’t just pop over and have a total and complete breakdown about some trivial thing. Once she is over her jetlag, has been to work, I am over my post chemo effects, Clare and I will be catching up over many many bubbles. πŸ™‚

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This celiing fan is my saviour each night and day. Poor Sam has to freeze each night to ensure I am at a comfortable temperature.

My gorgeous Sturt Desert Pea (South Australian Flower) in my front garden, flowering yet again this year….. How pretty xx

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My Cleaners Sense of Humour

What is wrong with this photo? I took it not long after my cleaner, Shanna, had left. I laughed so much but bloody Dr Hands wasn’t even here to see the funniness of it.

Do you recon she did it deliberately? She does have a very wicked and odd sense of humour, which, beside her cleaning, is what I love about her.

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If you can’t see what is on my bedside table here we have a book, my reading glasses, eye mask, water, panadol and, well, um a Hair Tie.

Here is my current hair style in case you have forgotten

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OOOhhhh she is a funny one isn’t she…… LMAO!!!

Oh, and another thing, she had the audacity to tell me off for putting my ‘arsehole cream’ with her business name ‘done and dusted’ together in a post on facebook (she calls it dogbook but I dont understand that so we’ll call it facebook). I was talking about chemo number 4 being done and dusted (her business name) and the fact I had to buy Anusol for Hemorrhoids and they went together in one sentence. hehe. She got me back well and truly with that hair tie πŸ™‚

She might look all nice and friendly in her ‘cartoon’ image’ on her business card but let me tell you, not only does she have a weird and twisted sense of humour, she will growl at you if you walk on her freshly washed floors. Doesn’t matter it is YOUR home, stay off the floors for ten minutes please!! Bloody love this woman and I can never thank my cousins enough for having her visit us each fortnight to give us one less thing to do.

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Update on Dr Hands is we are separated again tonight. He went to the doctor and the doctor said, Four days apart, due to my very vulnerable state post chemo. So, another night in bed alone while he sleeps in the spare room. I do not like this. I do not like this one bit.

I might act all tough and what not but I like my man, with his warmness, cuddles, terrible dream language and what notΒ  IN OUR BED end of story.

23 Things I Love About My Life

http://luckyottershaven.com/2015/07/21/20-things-i-hate-about-my-life/

This is the post that made me make this post. I love Lucky Otters Haven’s blog. I love it. In any case, theirs was a 23 Things I hate About My Life, I want to do the opposite…

Here are my 23 things I love about my life

1. I am Loved. Of course by my mother, family, daughter, Dr Hands, In Laws, Brady (Big White Dog), Kelly (staffy x) friends I knew I had and friends I never knew I had, neighbours and so forth

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Me and Dr Hands (Sam)

2. My Home. It is newly built. 19th of December, Dr Hands and I were handed the keys to our newly built home and on that date I was also proposed too by Dr Hands.

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3. My Daughter. She is a Hoot. She is different, loving, colourful, cuddly and everything else. I never thought I was a great mum but boy, I look at this daughter of mine and know, somewhere, somehow, her father, her grandparents, and myself, must have done A OK. She is great.

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4. Inlaws. Never have I felt the love of an outside family as I have with my Dr Hands Family. His mother hugs me so tight, so lovingly and I never want to let go. My FFIL (future father in Law) always has a kiss and cuddle for me as well as jokes and payouts. My gorgeous and fit and healthy SIL (future Sister In Law) is amazing and always has a cuddle, kind words, mimco umbrellas and amazing nieces and nephews for me. She Rocks. This is the kind of family one would want to marry into.

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5. I didn’t really want to put them down to number five but my Brady Bailey-Wilkinson and Kelly-Bear are so loving and amazing to me. They really dont give a shit if I am sick but they love me all the same. I would really love to add one more fur baby to my brood being a french bull dog but ‘apparently’ now is not the time (they are Dr Hands Words)

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Brady and Kelly

6. Bubbles. Yep, sparkling wine, champagne, what ever you want to call it I love it. It helps me sleep (oh come to me people who want to tell me drugs and alcohol are not the answer but shit, Cancer Honey!! give me bubbles, I kinda deserve it’

7. The Real Housewives of Meadows. I think they should be happy they living here in a beautiful town in the Adelaide Hills but noooo, One is in Bali and the other is constantly working but when they aren’t ….. they are amazing. I can call or text and they are there for me. They can pass on a bottle of bubbles, a cup of coffee, a chat etc. These woman, when they are around, are great people

8. Work. Yes, you read it right, work. I liked my job before my ‘promotion’ but wow, my new job is amazing and in all honesty, I can’t wait to get back to it. Not long now. Like, what, 10 months or so ….

9. BFF. Tracey. I remember as a kid, I think I was like about 11 and I walked down to the local shop in Summertown in South Australia and asked the lady behind the counter (who was the mother) if I could play with her daughter. Over thirty years later, we are still friends πŸ™‚

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We are not 11 years old here

10. My Mum. She was soooo annoying when I was younger but boy dont mum’s change when you grow up. She has been amazing. I worry for her though having to go through ‘my cancer’ on her own but she seems to be doing ok. Totally love this lady. Wish I could be more like her xx

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Me and My Mama

11. King Crab Claws. Anything crab gives me great love. Love love love crab. Give me no other food but crab.

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12. My Bed. Seriously, I bloody love my bed. I may complain or whinge about sleeping so much but in all honesty, if there is any ‘side effect’ from chemo, sleep is the best. I have Elisian sheets, Canningvale quilt cover, freedom furniture king size bed, yes, I am very bed and linen obsessed.

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13. Books, any book. Give it to me. Give me Give me Give me books!

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14. Internet. Love it. I can email friends, family, anyone. I can blog all kinds of ‘crap’ but the internet will forward it to someone who might want to read it πŸ™‚ Love it

15. My Past. Everyone always bitches and complains and are all embarrassed about their past but why? It made you who you are today…. I understand some people had really shitty crappy childhoods and they have every right to complain but mine was A OK.

16. Doctors and Medicine. Yep, they have saved my life. I am one boob down, have a kick arse scar but it is all to save my life. Chemotherapy to follow boobemectomy to ensure this cancer bitch doesn’t return…. I love modern research.

17. The Bold and the Beautiful. Yep, love it. I have taped it for years and have saved every Sunday to spend the day watching episode upon episode. Funny thing is, since I have been given 12 months off to recover from breast cancer, The Bold and the Beautiful has given me the shits. I’ll still continue to watch it but not record it πŸ™‚

18. Foxtel. Ok,Β  I have taken a while to get used to it and the only channel I really understood was the music channel but now I am getting to know more of the channels, I am learning there is more to like and appreciate. When you are on leave for a year or so, you will want to find something to entertain you the moment you are awake…

19. My Cousins. These amazing people who dont get together as often as we should, got together and organised a cleaner for Dr Hands and I. Dr Hands, he works full time, is a full time carer for me and looks after the house and food. The moment I learnt that my cousins got together and those who could contribute, organised a cleaner for us each fortnight for three months was beyond words. It is this kind of thought that really makes you feel loved. Knowing that people know that something as simple as housework is a lot for anyone going through this was amazing.

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20. Modern Day. Remember the old days when pregnant women would wear ‘sacks’ due to society and now they can wear crop tops and skinny pants? Well, cancer people can now get around with no hats or scarfs or ‘hair’ Now, preggos and cancer peeps can get around without the cover ups. I love this a lot.

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21. Cancer. Weird that would come in to the 23 things I love right but, now I know what cancer is, what it is like, how to deal with it. People ‘think’ they know cancer and how they would deal with it but until you have it, you know nothing. With my job, I will be more informed and educated it what my ‘client’ is going through. I will beat this bitch and get through it and be stronger for it.

22. My Family. I have a huge family and not all get along but when cancer comes along, we all get along. My huge family, well, they have come through thick and fast. I have an Auntie who knitted not only a square but a whole blanket that I constantly snuggle into on my bean bag. My cousins (and others) who have organised a cleaner for us for three months. Emails daily from a cousin to ensure I am A OK and doing alright. My family are amazing.

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23. Dr Hands. Sam Wilkinson. My Fiance. My Lover. My Everything. He is the one who can look at my face and know, know that I am well or not so well. He knows when I need to eat, drink, need medication, a hug, a kiss etc. I do not know how my man does it all but he does. He can look at me and know what I need, I can scream at him, cry with him, cuddle and beg and he still knows what I need. Without Dr Hands, I am sure I’d be ok but not as good as I am now and yesterday and tomorrow. He knows my needs, my wants and my requirements. I get angry at him and say some really shitty words but he brushes them by and gets on with life. Where would I be without Dr Hands?

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Sailing our hire house boat and loving it πŸ™‚
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My Love, My Everything xx

From Cambodia and Queensland to Adelaide

I woke feeling like absolute and utter crap this morning. I didn’t have a great night sleep as was suffering stomach cramps, nausea and headaches. The sleep I did have didn’t make me feel any better but then the day took a turn for the better.

When I finally got out of bed at 2:30pm (yes, in the afternoon) I woke to a beautifully smelling and looking home. Thanks to Spanna (my cleaner) and my amazing family for providing her to me. I had sent her a text advising her of my feelings for the day but advised I was medicated enough that I probably (and didn’t) hear her. She just left the master bedroom and ensuite alone as requested.

When I did get up and rugged up I went to check the letterbox as I had a heads up from friend, Ali, that there might be something special from my wonderful postie today. I dont think he came to my door today though because I am often woken up by the door bell so I braved the weather and not only was there 1 parcel but 2!

Parcel number 1 was from Ali, Paul and Jy and wow, these beautiful squares are amazing. They came all the way from Cambodia on their recent trip and there had been some research by them before they set off to their destination. Check out the organisation here – http://daughtersofcambodia.org/ – Daughters of Cambodia is a faith-based group of non profit social enterprises operating in Phnom Penh with the sole purpose of offering a new life of freedom to victims of sex-trafficking and sex-exploitation in Cambodia. I thank you Ali, Paul and Jy for thinking of me on your journey and for doing good in the world xx

Here are the gorgeous squares

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My second gift was from a wonderful friend who now resides in Queensland.Β  We’ve become such close friends over the years and couldn’t be more different than each other. We refer to one another as ‘foooool’, say is sloooowly and you have it. Long story but anyway, we are both avid readers and if we aren’t talking about books, we are talking about our fur babies. She is a reasonably new adoptive mum to a three legged cat called Destan and a beautiful fluffy rag doll Aberdeen. In her packet of gifts was a lovely card, a book that I can’t wait to read and three lovely squares. I was very surprised to hear she had enlisted the help of her mum. If you know the foool I am talking about, Chantelle, she can do ANYTHING! I must say, her mum is a wonderful knitter. Her squares are all different and all beautiful. It is so difficult to photograph the knitting in these squares but the one on the end with the two blue lines on the edge, is almost like silk, it is so beautiful to touch.

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So my day has gone from waking up in the morning feeling absolutely and utterly rotten to waking again in the afternoon to a haul of goodies from amazing people, a super clean house provided by a cleaner hired by my family and my wonderful man walking through the door. It never ceases to amaze to me know the people who have me in their thoughts.

Tonight, I still have this darn headache but the chemo flu never eventuated so there is something to be happy about. Next spa session is next Thursday which is awesome because for some reason yesterday, I thought my next chemo was meant to be today πŸ™‚

Just a quick note on my eyebrows, rightie has almost gone completely and leftie is hanging in there. Like seriously? Could you both just go at the same time please?

I Am On Cancer Leave.

I don’t have much to report today. I am a bit blugh but not in a bad way. I am just a little flat. It might be because there is nothing really happening right now. I am walking around still carrying drippy, still sore, still lop sided and still in this mornings pyjamas and it is after 9pm at night.

Geez, that sounds really quite pathetic and sooky hey, but I am generally ok beside what I have said above. I pooped today which made me smile. I slept amazingly well last night which also made me smile. I guess I am not great at recovering from surgery. I feel that there should be something happening now but there isn’t.

So, I spent my day filling in paperwork for my income insurance, medicare documents, phoning the bank to explain my situation and to see what options are available (yes I know I know, I work in the industry but my mortgage isn’t with the bank I work with so I had to double check that they had the same options available), made my post operation appointment, oncology appointment and booked Brady in for a total hair cut. He is so woolly at the moment that I am frightened he is going to be mistaken as one of the local sheep and boy is he filthy! Building a house is great and beautiful and everything is new except for the garden. We managed to get the front garden done and finished and looking lovely but the back yard, well, it is dirt. Mud sometimes, but dirt and it loves to stick to Brady. I think it might be a while off now until we pave or deck that area as we had planned to do so by having Brady shaved, it’ll save him bringing in a lot of that dirt and mud. Oh, I best not start chatting to you about Brady because this entire blog could then revolve around that wonderful boy of mine.

Oh, there is something I want to talk about actually, it is being fat. Most of you know I am a wee bit overweight, ok, a lot but anyway, I found something out about chemo. You get fat! I do not have room to put on anymore weight. Why can’t there be a benefit to this cancer bizzo like weight loss or something? Isn’t it enough that I am going to lose my hair (I hope I have a beautiful scalp), lose my eyelashes and eyebrows, will get mouth ulcers (that is going to suck for a fat chick who loves food),Β  and I’llΒ  put on weight! I know I’ll end up with lovely boobies eventually but geez, can I have something to enjoy in the mean time? Why can’t something amazing happen like, end up with beautiful glowing skin, or the tightening of my bum and leg muscles, make me smarter… something positive would really be nice. Oh hang on, there is something positive, it will save my life. Yeah ok, that’ll do.

And another thing. Why can’t we have ‘cancer leave’ like we do with ‘maternity leave’? That would be super handy for us cancer people. It is seeming to be quite an expensive illness at this time and I imagine it is only going to get more expensive so being on ‘cancer leave’ from work would be very beneficial right now. I am hoping there wont be too much of a hassle obtaining this income insurance. The insurance company obviously ask a lot of questions and the paperwork is generic but one of the questions is ‘when did you notice your illness’. Isn’t that a bizzare question? They also ask when you first went to the doctor and then when you received confirmation of the illness but the question as to when you noticed your illness I thought was quite out there.

So my plans for the next few days are to accept I have had major surgery as advised to me by Pauline and Dr Hands, accept I have to rest, relax and reduce the thoughts in my head. I will pick up my book and lose myself in the words and worlds of others. I shall feel no guilt in doing so either because this is what I need to do. The pain killers are good when they are working but they make me feel I can do much more than I should really be doing so I will listen to the professionals and not my endone brain.

Want to know what I am reading right now? The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins. I am absolutely loving this book and it fascinates me that I can enjoy a book where I do not like the characters. They aren’t nice people but I can’t put the book down. I am almost finished this book and you know what comes after that? Choosing a new book to read. That is one of my favourite things to do in life, choosing the next book to read and I have lots of books in my ‘To Be Read’ pile.

Well, thanks for sticking with me through this rambling session. I feel better now, do you? πŸ™‚