My Energiser Bunny Mia xx

Have you ever met someone who gave you a tingle? Or a little more energy? Perhaps they gave you a boost or a positive nature that you decided to follow.

Thankfully, I have many positive people in my life but today, an amazing and positive person came to visit me and her name is Mia.

Mia is amazing. She is a woman that many of us would love to be. She is absolutely passionate about her cause being her gorgeous special needs daughter Juno. She is passionate about her amazing and handsome son Rourke (allergy related illness). She is passionate about her ‘boob obsessed’ baby Olive.

Nothing is too much for Mia to delve into and explore, find explanations/reason, fight the government, schooling, expectations and find out how, why, when and hows of everything.

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When Mia speaks, you listen. She is passionate about diet, energy, gratitude, children’s needs, government, understanding, shutting up v’s speaking out and looking amazing.

I know Mia doesn’t do much to herself but she is one of those amazing women that just looks incredible to me and not just because she has two boobs and hair.

It is simply because of her energy.

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Mia is such an amazing woman who radiates energy and gratitude. How lovely are these flowers in a glass jar from the pantry??!

Like me, Mia is not keen on the ‘oh poor me’ syndrome that seems to be rampant through South Australia, or even, the world. We are more focused on the positiveness and gratitude of life. I LOVE THIS!

My amazing cousin Tamara and I follow this gratitude thing as often as possible where we email each other and in this email, we include three things we are thankful or grateful for each day. Sounds easy hey? Try it.

I’ll give you todays’ three things I am grateful for..

  1. An amazing and energized visit from Mia
  2. My gorgeous dogs who give me love each and every day
  3. Wonderful neighbours who I can chat too any time

I challenge each person who reads this today to write or email three things they are thankful or grateful for each day for a few years. The days you struggle to find three things are the days when you realise that this is an important thing to do each and every day.

Back to my visit from Mia.

She really is a pocket rocket. This woman can speak and you just hold onto every word she says.

I explained to Mia that I was giving up alcohol in the new year because, unfortunately, it has become a bit of a crutch for me. Alcohol has made things better when things were not so great.

Mia is against sugar and I could see that she understood but also, she knew why the weight had built onto my body. Sugar.

Without much or a conversation about it, I was ready to give it up simply because Mia is an Energizer Bunny, I want to be like her!! She has energy and plans and ideas and excitement about life, diet and lifestyle.

Give that to me!!!

With Mias visit, I had a laugh or three, many ideas and thoughts, jealousy and pride and energy! I am going to be a ‘Mia’.

Why is Mia so important? Well, to you she may not be. But to me she is amazing.

Mia is a young and gorgeous and amazing and healthy woman.

Mia has three children under 5 (maybe 6) and one is a special needs child and one has serious allergies and one, Olive, is a Mama’s baby.

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Mia has fought the government disability schemes, has fought with local government members, has helped many many families with children of special needs, has encouraged fund raising for hospitals and … little old me… and gives back to society.

Mia should be wearing a tiara to bed each night but instead, she wears a weary and tired body, the stresses of having children who need to be within ten kilometers of a local hospital, an alarm that goes off to give another child her medication, fights for awareness and acceptance to be often shut down, sometimes from people too close to her, fights back tears and words when tears and words are needed….. she wakes every day to start again.

Here is gorgeous Mia and Juno

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This woman came to see me today and brightened my entire day with her smile and her flowers.

If you ever wish to complain about your life, first, look at your ‘gratitude’ and think again.

  • Do you have a roof over your head?
  • Do you have people who love you?
  • Is there money in your account? Maybe not today but tomorrow?
  • Is there a little one loving you right now?
  • Can you feed yourself? Or others that are in your house?

These are things you should be grateful for.

Mia, you are amazing and I love you. I can’t wait to visit  you or for you to visit me again.

My new year decision of giving up alcohol, sugar and reverting to a healthier lifestyle was perked up by your visit. I was even excited by this from the energy you bought to my home.

I know I can do this.

Without you, I am sure I could have done it but with your visit, I am EXCITED to do it.

Keep smiling that amazing smile Mia and thank you again for your inspiring visit to me.

Feel free to visit and follow that gorgeous Juno’s journey through facebook. Mia is an absolute gem when it comes to writing. She does use these new world ’emoticoms thingies’ but they work (and are very funny sometimes). I am feeling so much more in-tune with these little pictures hehe

Thank you Mia for popping up to my place and can’t wait to be energised by you again. xx

https://www.facebook.com/ourlittlejunebug/?fref=ts

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You Rock…. xxx

 

Radiation Burns!

Photo on 11-12-2015 at 8.09 pmI thought chemo was bad but look at this burn. What you can’t see is the blisters that have popped and are now open wounds. I have a wedding to attend tomorrow and I have this kickarse burn with peeling and blisters. Lovely look hey?

Yes, I am thankful for my life and that surgery, chemo and radiation therapy have saved my life but geez, this really kinda hurts.

Photo on 11-12-2015 at 8.09 pm #2Both photos show the burn but not the blisters. Anyhoo, I’ll take it over anything worse.

Last night, I finished a book I had started the other night. I had almost read the whole book on Tuesday night but decided, for what ever reason, to not finish it until last night. Well, let me tell you, I bawled and bawled my eyeballs out. Ok, not literally **spoiler allert** , like in the book – but I have not cried like that since eight months ago when I was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer.

So, heads up on what not to read while dealing with any type of cancer is this.

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What made me NOT buy this book initially was the name of the author. He cant help that he was born with the shittest name ever. This is the name of my ‘sperm donor’ that I have nothing to do with. This was the reason I put my back to this book for so long but eventually, it wore me down and I bought it.

Who the hell buys a book about a cancer person while dealing with cancer? That would be me hehe. I thought I had dealt with everything and could get through this book without a tear. I dislike teenagers which is what this book is based on, which is another plus to avoid tears.

Well blow me down with a feather but did I burst the dam last night. I cried and cried and cried at the end of this book. Keep in mind that I am not an overly emotional person!

To cry over a book that some dude called, unfortunately, John Green, wrote, had me in tears over teenagers is totally inconceivable. But I did. I cried so much and for over an hour. Totally exhausting but do you think Dr Hands woke once? Nope.

I shant blame him though because I did quite sobs. I totally recommend this book to anyone who needs a great laugh and a super cry. This dude with the shittest name is quite the author. I just pity him that he was given this name. I also forgive him.

Right, following all this, my amazing and gorgeous mum took me out today to cheer me up with a manicure and painted nails followed by coffee and a gluten free cheese and butter muffin. I didn’t think I was up to this but man, this made my week! I had an absolute blast today with my mum – having laughs, pampering, coffees and muffins and genuine love.

This is what life is about isn’t it? Loving and smiling and laughing no matter what is going on.

Love that mum of mine xx

Here is one of my favorite photos of my mum and my sister Annette. xx

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Talking to The Kid

So, I was chatting with Accalia yesterday and boy, I just don’t kids grow up so quick and wise these days.

I am a very proud mother to Accalia who is 22 years old and whilst we text more than we talk due to this cancer and chemo bizzo, I keep thinking of something she said to me yesterday.

Being the misery guts that I was (which I think is a bit unusual for me because I have been quite positive about all of it so far but the loss of my engagement ring may have tipped me over the edge slightly)… any whoo I was complaining to Accalia on the phone about how my four hour chemo, reaction to the dye from the heart pool test and the loss of my ring and how this was meant to be the best year of my life.

Sam and I were handed the keys to our brand new built house to our design on the 19th of December 2014, the same day my gorgeous man Sam proposed to me. I had a new ‘promotion’ job which I loved, everything was going so great and now this cancer and chemo and radiotherapy and all the other bullshit. She was very patient listening to me blubber away on the phone.

My gorgeous and very intelligent daughter responded with….

The best year is just on hold Mummy, it might well be next year.

Thank you my girl for your words of wisdom. These words of yours have kept running through my head. You know me, I am not one to dwell on much so to have a few days of blugh is a bit of a shock to me. Thanks for grounding me. Love you to bits.

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Uniden Digital Camera
Uniden Digital Camera

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Pro Chemo Clinic Please

I think this is something needed. We need a Pro Chemo Clinic for those who are so dexied up (pepped) and no one else in the household has the energy to keep up.

The feeling is like I have been given a big speed bomb (Mum, MIl, FFIL, Family and Friends) I have only tried speed a few times I promise, your few and my few may be quite different but I DO NOT use or take speed or illegal drugs these days and nor have I for a for year or so. Few, glad I got all that out.

Anyhoo. Here I am, Dr Hands fast asleep (I think he has a new kidney stone growing eeek), Brady and Kelly are both fast asleep and me, well, wide a blippin awake!

Let me share my gorgeous haven, bedroom, that I spend much of my time in and have spent some of my ‘splurge money’ on those gorgeous lamps…

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Its crap. The only person in the house, wide awake (speed like from memory) all others asleep in the house and what do I do? I hate TV but I watched a shit movie called ‘Switched Identity’ I think it was called and there were very few funny bits in it. Now, there is some crap with some dude who swears a lot and is in Spain telling people what they are doing wrong. I might have to search foxtel because this show sucks.

Here are my sleepy heads minus Samo because he would take my head off if I woke him for a photo…

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My texts to my gorgeous daughter had me in stitches, Brady had some strange things going on in his head that made me laugh, Kelly had a tennis ball in the side of her jawls which made me laugh. Sam has made me laugh all day.

Then, I am all alone. Pepped up from all the drugs they give me during chemo but the loved ones, they can’t keep up.

So, bring on the Pro Chemo Clinic. Some dude will take some weed, another will enjoy the ‘experimental’ speed I have tried but seriously, the first night after chemo is kinda tough. I want someone to get totally and utterly drunk with me. To talk shit and laugh and ignore the worlds problems for a moment.

But, I can’t book this in because other chemo treatments have me comotosed (I tried spell check and it wasn’t working for me so just work with me here) within a few hours of getting home from chemo. Tonight though, am feeling pumped and happy and loving the world and my life.

I am wondering if there was a clinic that looked like a bar for the pro chemo patients of the day, would that help not only our carers and dogs, but also us. Some of us come home all pepped up and ready to chat but there is no one to chat too. Oh stop it, dont be berating Sam because I think he is hiding a kidney stone from me but imagine, all us Pro Chemo Peeps, smoking weed, drinking bubbles (thats me) or just pumped from the meds given, we could have a hoot of a party.

It is tough the night or two following chemo. I think I have had all of the feelings. I have been high as a kite, low as a maggot, midstream with nothing going on in my head (work peeps, you can cease laughing now), and absolute comatose. So, I can’t judge what I am going to be like from each chemo to the next. Mind you, the next one, whilst a long day, sounds a lot easier.

Next chemo has me having the heart test (to make sure my heart will cope with the next lot of chemo), which is at 10am and then at 1am, my new chemo which apparently will give me a lot of fatigue and bone acheness but no nausea (yippeee) and it is up to debate as to weather my hair loss continues or I grow my hair. See previous post.

Any hoo…… Obviously I am wide awake with all of these bloggie posts tonight. You may not hear from me for a few days but  I am going to imagine sad faces all around the world.

I thought twice about my profile pic but then I realised, I am who I am. I am ok with being bald. It is time for not only Australia but the world to be ok with bald women. No, I am not a lesbiano (even though there is nothing wrong with that), but why do I feel I have to wear a wig, hat, scarf etc. These make my head itch and I am so happy that Sam is just fine and dandy with me going alllll natural.

Fed Up

Big of a whinge moment. I feel I have done nothing but sleep this week which would ordinarily be my favourite thing except there were things I wanted to do. One being, attending Hugo’s 1st Birthday party with Brady Bailey-Wilkinson.

Dr Hands advised last night that today’s party would be a non event for me and I was like a toddler having a tantrum saying I would be fine and, dont assume how I am going to feel blah blah….

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This is Huge and Brady…….. A wee bit of a size difference but could totally have enjoyed a birthday party today 😦

The shit head was right. I was crap. I slept from about 3ish yesterday arvo until 9:30 this morning. The day before was much the same. I always have a positive attitude that i’ll feel amazing the next day but it doesn’t always happen. That doesn’t let Dr Hands off the hook for being able to tell by looking at me how I am going to feel but geez, he is right more often than not.

I am also glad to mention he does not read my blog. He does not want to communicate through my blog and often I used to say, oh, did you see my blog where I talked about blah blah and his response was often ‘Bailey Boop, I do not read your blog and if you have something to say to me, say it to me’. When did he get all grown up??

So, This morning I woke up like crap just as he predicted. Had I even been in the position to give this wonderful man children, he would have made a great daddy but today and tomorrow, he is my carer and lover as I battle through my breast cancer and chemotherapy and then radio….

What was my point here….?

Oh, Fed UP. Fed up with feeling like shit. I was really surprised after the previous chemo, being number 3, and I felt great after it. I was pumped and energised for quite a few days, even managing a lunch with fabulous people recieving a suprise fundraiser of money in a large jar and such. The last three days? Shit. Absolute shit.

While I lay in bed on Thursday I had all of my arguments ready for Dr Hands. He always asks about food and water. I am not a bloody horse you know but I play along all the same because he loves me and such but, it turns out, I wasn’t even awake long enough for him to ask me the questions. Hang on, I think that was Friday not Thursday. Thursday I had some crackers and cheese. Yeah, that’s right and Friday, nothing. Yay for weight loss. Boo for listening to Dr Hands on Saturday about the effects of not eating and not getting nutrition etc……. He can really be quite boring.

What I did love about today is Dr Hands asking how I am going. Out of no where. I had been to the doctors for my shopping list being

Motilium – Anti Nausea

Tremodol – Pain Relief/Headache Relief

Diazapam – Sleeping Tablets

Why do I need the valium? Well, I can be so very tired but so wound up that sleep is beyond me so the valium (very low dose so I take double the amount) helps me to relax and stop stressing and sleep. And once I sleep, I’ll see ya in three days….

I hate that I have had to cancel two events these last two days. I really wanted to go to Hugo’s first birthday. That would have totally been a hoot but stupid cancer/chemo and Dr Hands prevented all that but I will imagine the joy that Brady and I would have received from the fun of it.

Hopefully tomorrow, I’ll have an amazing and energised post.

Let me give you three amazing things for the week

1. An amazing package filled with a pile of knitting from Gilda who even put my nickname to her ‘bailes’ on one of the huuuge squares. I am thinking I might make Gilda’s mountain of squares into a cuddle cushion….

2. A lovely package, words, squares and book from great friend Chantelle to remind me life is great. Friends area amazing and nothing gets past a great book

3. Dr Hands asking how I am going. Yes, we live day in day out but he stopped the world to ask me how I am going with a missing boob, with the scar, with the journey….. My man isn’t much of a talker and I dont shut up so for him to ask me, deep down and honestly want to know, meant so much. and yeah. I will admit, that missing boob, that huge scar, can sometimes hit me like a brick to my bald head.

Oh, Dr Hands also bought me the prettiest of flowers today and I was so happy but boy, they smell like horse wee….. Maybe that is what is making my eyes water but I’ll let Dr Hands believe it is the combustion fire making my eyes water hehe

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If you have managed to read this far, let me tell you that my underarm hairs have gone. They are chemo’d out of my life. Leg hairs… well, there are a couple but nothing worth getting the razor out for. Right eyebrow is hanging in there but looking very sad as far as eyebrows goes and my chin hair hasn’t come back.

Lady Land is almost bare!! The forest of dreams is almost as smooth as a babies bum. Almost!!

Hemorrhoids and Surprises

You are so so lucky that lunch today turned out a hell of  a lot differently than I had anticipated because, this post was going to be a whole lot different. After what I thought was going to be a lovely lunch with my mum, daughter and her girlfriend I was going to come home and talk to you about hemorrhoids. BUT, the day took a turn that I was not expecting.

Accalia (daughter) had wanted to catch up for a belated birthday family lunch and me being me, and her being her, I did not find it overly strange for this request even though her birthday was in April and even though I didn’t see her on her actual birthday because she was in Perth, I have seen her since her birthday. My daughter and I can often do things a little differently and thats ok.

Anyhoo, mum was joining us so she picked me up because apparently I can’t be trusted to drive to and from a place because I can get very tired very quickly and Sam doesn’t trust me. Met Accalia at the wonderful Miss Perez and I felt a little bad that Sam didn’t join us because he, well, he is Sam and Accalias partner couldn’t make it because of work and we were sitting at a kinda big table for just the three of us.

Then there appeared two child seats to our table and I am trying to work out who on earth is joining us because I dont know many little people and suddenly my fantastic friend Nicole and her gorgeous little man Jordan arrived! Nicole is minutes away from giving birth to surprise baby number 3 and looks amazing! Then, following behind was Mia with her three gorgeous kids and I will tell you their correct names being Roarke, Juno and Olive!

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It turns out that these people have been doing a wee fundraiser for the bald girl herself (thats me!). I was so surprised and humbled. I couldn’t believe it and then to hear the people involved in the background was just beautiful! I was so surprised by it all I almost lost an eyebrow (well, what’s left of them anyway).

To know that people have been buying delish chocolates that to raise money for me to splurge on myself, to do what ever it is I want just for me, was incredible.

Inside the bag was a card from Nicole and her boys (thanks for the wonderful drawing of me in bed with flowers and butterflies from Jordan), A lovely note from Mia explaining what all this money is for, photocopies of the journey they took to collect this money and get this, the money is mostly coins! I LOVE THAT! They didn’t have time to get to a bank to get it changed into notes. There is over $420 in this jar. And this is what that looks like..

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I am still so shocked and amazed by the effort and work these wonderful people have gone through. To hear of the people who worked on this project was amazing, people I rarely or never see, people I do see but kept it all very quiet.

To those who read this you can be thankful not only that I have amazing people in my life but the fact you didn’t have to read about my new subject Hemorrhoids…….

And just when I think the day couldn’t get any better, I get a message from my good friends daughter Millie telling me they’ve left something in my letter box for me and OMG, it is from her sister Talia. She has bought me a gorgeous, woolly and the cutest beanie EVER! Can you guess where she got it from?

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In case you can’t read backwards, it says New Zealand and I love it.

Today has been absolutely amazing and I thank each and everyone of you who have been a part of all of this and please know it means so very much to me.

I can’t wait to let you know who I intend to spoil myself…….. OMG all this money just for me???!!! Thank you everyone xx

Cancer is Lonely …..

As the title says, cancer can be lonely but also, so very boring. I can fault no one for making me feel lonely except for the chemo treatment given.

This is going to sound a little strange but I think this is the best treatment I have had. I had it on Thursday 2nd of July and had a sensational two days following. I felt upbeat, energised, hungry and happy.

Come Sunday, that all goes to shit. I am not tired, can’t stay awake, have no interest in talking, eating, drinking or even opening my eyes for that matter.

Today is Wednesday and beside the battle between ‘Bailey and Brady’, nothing much has happened.

I am Bailey.

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This is Brady

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As any dog trainer knows, dogs have their behavioral changes at the age of 2 and 7. Brady is going through age 7 behavior change and we are butting heads. He is being ever so naughty. Not coming to me when I quietly and gently request. Looks on at me mockingly when I request he remove his smelly butt from my sofa etc

But, beside all that, I have felt that I have done nothing but sleep since Sunday until today, Wednesday evening. I felt ever so teary earlier today but that was just some girly crap and went away quick enough.

What I am so very thankful for is my wonderful neighbours in my lovely little village. Dr Hands went and bought me a bottle of bubbles because I needed something to give me a lift and that whole bottle didn’t even touch the sides. A quick text next door to Night Nurse and all was good in the world as a new bottle of bubbles arrived at my door step (do not judge one with cancer) and we even had some lovely chats, laughs and gossip.

Speaking of neighbours, did you know these neighbours of mine are from England and dont eat until around 8pm at night??? Who the hell eats at that time of night? Well, they do……… it is just wrong if you ask me but moving on…

You have no idea that sleeping from Sunday to Wednesday night can be so lonely until you go through it. And this comes from someone like me who loves her bed, own company, books, dogs etc. If I can become lonely and teary through this spa treatment  effect, I dread to imagine how it would be for someone a little more social and sun shinier than me.

I dont want to sound like a lecturer but seriously, if you have a friend or neighbour going through this shitty illness, extend a hand. Weather it be an ear or a chatty mouth, please give it. If I can be teary because of no company, and I have a Dr Hands in my life, then I dread to think what it would be like for someone more social than myself.

My High note of the week was a sensational package left in my letterbox (I missed my visit from postie Ashley) which was a gorgeous square from Josie who is an amazing lady at work. She has made some amazing gluten free treats for me at work so it was quite a surprise to get a square from her!! Also, what I should mention more than anything, is the notes, letters and cards I receive with these squares. Thank you so much Josie for my lovely square which actually almost matches another square I have here ……

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Isn’t this square just amazing? I love it to bits n pieces.

Goodness, I have been awake for about three hours now, must be time for sleep. Honestly, I am managing about 3 hours at maximum of being awake before needing hours more worth of sleep. So, if I dont reply to your text, email or facebook message, it is probably because I am sleeping…

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Chemo Number 3 is Done!

It doesn’t get any easier as each session passes and the next comes along. I was so nervous this morning and was feeling a bit nauseas. I even thought about calling in sick! The nurses thought that was quite funny at the thought of me calling in sick to chemo.

In any case, all went well as per usual. Sam answered all the questions for me, I can never remember what I have been through the previous three weeks. The days all just roll into one.

What made today even better was coming home to a sensationally clean house. Like, I mean, really really clean. Yep, my cleaner was back and had done another fantastic job. (Thanking that family of mine again!!).

So far, I am feeling all sterioded and Upped and fine. From memory, the previous two sessions saw me in bed pretty soon after getting home. Having said that, I haven’t eaten yet.

There was a little old lady having chemo next to me today and we were only separated by a curtain so I could listen to her conversations and the poor lady has so much difficulty eating that is often hospitalised for up to a week following her chemo. I felt so awful for her and seriously, that woman looked like a little bird, she was tiny and didn’t look like she could afford to skip a meal let alone lots of meals. Then I heard her ‘know it all’ daughter carry on to the nurse how she had cooked an amazing slow cooked lamb shank dish for dinner last night and her mother (the little bird) would have nothing to do with it. Well guess what daughter who ‘thinks’ she knows it all, if some one has difficulty swallowing (which is what the bird is struggling with as well as a loss of appetite), you would not serve them up lamb shanks! Geez, some people annoy me. If i could have given the bird some of my weight, I would have been more than happy to give her some.

Have I told you that I need an injection 24 hours after chemo every three weeks? Well, check out the price of it….

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I think that is about it for now. I haven’t been around much lately due to some virus that has kept me sleeping and resting a lot. Hopefully I’ll have some energy back soon.

Chitter Chatter

Thanks to all who read my drunken blogs over the weekend.

For a week I had been suffering a fake flu caused by chemo. As no medication would fix said fake flu, I made a decision to remedy it myself with a few bottles of bubbles and blow me down with a feather, I woke up without a sniffle today! I could well be calling myself Dr Amanda Meow Bubbles Bailey but that could well end me in court again but we shant go into that right now.

Anyhoo, this week is chemo week. So, I have been to both chemists. One being ‘sip n save’ bottle shop for a few more bottles of bubbles and the other to the actual chemist for my anti nausea, headache and sleeping tablets. All ready for post Thursday spa therapy commonly known as chemotherapy.

Another thing for today is bloody crappola Auntie Flo visited. I woke with the words “Are you effin Serious?” Here are a few words for YOU Auntie Flow bitch face cow..

*Breast Cancer

*Chemo

*Lethargy

I do not have the time, energy or patience for Auntie Flo right now. For those of you who haven’t met Auntie Flo… She is that horrid bitch of a woman who visits most ‘teenagers’ and continues until middle age flooding her bloody yuck stuff for years on end right before that other Auntie called Aunt Menopause moves in. In any case, I dont get a choice as to when this horrid Auntie Flo visits but in all honesty, I thought she had died because chemotherapy brings on menopause and as I hadn’t had a visit from her since hospital, I assumed it was my time for Aunt Menopause to come along. Remember that visit? Lets not revisit that but anyway, it seems Auntie Flo is still visiting.

Here is another thing. Having cancer causes a hell of a lot of paperwork. Thankfully my gorgeous and amazing, soon to be inlaws, suggested Sam and I get income insurance when we built our home ‘just in case’. Unfortunately that just incase happened in the way of Breast Cancer so yay us, we are covered. Not 100% but still, any amount of money coming our way helps us keep our home and keeps our bills paid and food on the table. What is irritating is that paperwork.

Seriously, I would be all well and good to fill in the paperwork myself each month to send off to the insurance company to ensure my monthly payment is made. But, to make my surgeon or oncologist to also fill in this paperwork is insane.

People always talk about doctors and nurses being overworked (and Sam and I can totally agree and see this) but then to put forward paperwork every month for either my surgeon or oncologist to fill in four pages of paperwork is just wrong. These doctors and oncologists and nurses are there to help and serve their patients. They should not be bogged down with paperwork to ensure I get my income insurance is paid.

I had to wait weeks and weeks for my amazing surgeon to fill in the first lot of paperwork, I had to phone three times to get this paperwork back. Each and every time I phoned, I felt bloody awful because this man had cut the fist sized cancer out of my body, had taken 9 cancerous lymph nodes from my body, in short, saved my life, but here I was begging his receptionist to get him to fill that paperwork in so I could pay the mortgage.

Why does someone who has spent half of their life learning to save lives, to cut out cancer, to give impeccable bedside service and so much more, have to fill in so much paperwork so that the people he saved, can get their insurance money. I am more than happy for a representative from the insurance company to come visit me, view my scars, look at my medicine cabinet and look at me, and then realise that yes, I am still fighting cancer. Yes, my chemo still makes me quite sick. Yes, my lethargy stops me even going out for coffee.

It makes me angry that the insurance companies make these amazing surgeons and oncologists take their time away from saving people from this crappy disease to fill in paperwork.

On an end note, it is super freezing in the Adelaide Hills right now so I shall go and stoke that fire, grab some socks and snuggle in for a few hours on my new bean bag with my Janeeee blankee and watch a spot of TV before bed.

Todays Featured Image is a photo of my mums gorgeous Peppie who I babysat one time. He was so nervous having to stay with Brady (Big White Dog) and I in the city but once he settled in, this was the smile we received xx. How gorgeous is he? Just looking at this little boy makes me smile 🙂

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Aaaaaachoooooo! Give me Soup!

Yep, that is me sneezing my guts out. Unfortunately, it isn’t the flu. I can’t take any cold and flu tablets to get rid of this. T

This ‘illness’ is a side effect from chemo. I think. I sneeze like crazy, constant runny nose and a bit of a cough. But, I don’t care too much because, it is saving my life. Not everyone agrees with chemotherapy or radiation therapy, both of which I have chosen to continue with but it is my choice and I am going to embrace this lifesaving technology. And deal with the feelings (side effects) that come with it.

Today, I had a day out. I put on my pretty little hat that Gilda had delivered to me, I popped on some make up and off I went. Sam had sent me a text saying he would take me out when he got home from work but I declined. I woke feeling pretty good today and I was ready to face the world. And, I really wanted to buy a bean bag.

My bed is my most favourite place in the whole wide world. What I am frightened off with all these chemo feelings is that I might fall out of love with my bed. Saturday I slept until about 5ish. Monday, I was up at about 6pm. So you see, I am having some really bad days where I spend hours upon hours in bed.

I know this would be a dream for some people and in all honesty, this is the most favourite feeling given to me from chemo. Sleeping through the headaches, nausea, dizziness and what not is great. But, I dont want to get to a stage where I dislike my bed. That would be terrible because I honestly have an intense love for my bed.

So, this beanbag I bought I figured might/will be a great alternative. My sofa is about 13 years old and isn’t so comfy anymore and Sam’s sofa is, well, woody. I say woody because if you ‘throw’ yourself down on to it you get a big bar of wood in your back. Enter, beanbag. I will hide it from my gorgeous dogs because I would love just one thing NOT to smell like a dog.

Anyway, I have one week today until next spa therapy session (chemo) and I am thinking that I should be feeling amazing but it isn’t so yet. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel amazing but I doubt that too. I say this because I seem to have a good day followed by a not so good day. I have my positive feelings saying that tomorrow is going to be amazing and I will be up and about to do some chores that I have on my list of things to do.

Thanks to my cousins and family, there isn’t a great deal of housework to do. There are always things to do though hey? Not important things but just things.

I want to walk Brady (my big white groodle) because not only will he (and I) love our walks but his nails are getting long and boy they are loud on our floor boards. I want to assemble a simple Ikea side table, fill a bean bag etc.

What I am happy about though is that I made pumpkin soup today. Sam doesn’t like my soup which is great because it means there is so much more for me. There is a bit of healthy intake that included butternut pumpkin, onion, garlic, sweet potato, chicken stock and a bit of cream. One must have some dairy right?  I am pleased with this ‘healthy dish’ because yesterday, I had nothing to eat but pancakes for dinner. Appetite is real hit and miss these days. I feel it is best to eat what you feel like when you feel like it because that craving/appetite goes just as quickly as it arrives.

My big question today is for those who have had/have cancer and have had/having their lymph nodes removed. Have you thought of or had a medic alert bracelet made in case of emergency? You know how we can’t have any blood taken, IV’s inserted etc… What happens in a car accident or a head injury where you can’t tell the doctors or nurses not to use that arm?

Random Photo of Brady again because seeing a photo of me with my red nose, bald head, dry skin, is just not as cute as my Groodle Brady …..

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