Aches & Pains & A Fluffy Face

I am growing a bloody beard! For months I have been a smooth alien looking woman and now, now, I have mutton chops!

Ok, I might be going slightly overboard right now but geez, my face certainly is a lot fluffier than it ever was. I hope I wont be needing to borrow Dr Hands’ razor!

Seriously though, it is from one extreme to another. I am thinking I really might have to wax it or use depilatory cream or something. It is very fine and very blonde but it gets blown around in the wind! I can feel it moving. I think I can almost run my fingers through my new beard!

I’ll let you know how I get on. On a better note, my hair is looking amazing. It is still short but is growing very thick. I am using Nioxin Shampoo and Conditioner and my amazing friend Nicole bought this awesome product called Activance for me.

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I use 20 sprays per day and I am sure that is what is thickening my hair. Maybe some of it has dripped onto my cheeks and caused my mutton chops to grow??

Onto the Aches and Pains. Well, they’re still there.

The theracucumin doesn’t seem to have worked. Neither has the nurofen plus, nurofen, tramadol, panadene forte (although this did assist with some awful headaches I had experienced) or panadol. I am now taking fish oil capsules and have all of my hopes on these massive things. Have you seen the size of a fish oil capsule before? Well, the damn thing almost takes up my whole mouth!

And another thing. It says on the pack that there is no added gluten. What the hell is that supposed to mean. Is there or is there not gluten? All of the brands said the same thing except for one very cheap and nasty home brand looking thing. I ask the chemist lady and she advised that it was in fact gluten free. Well, why doesn’t it just say this?? It is so frustrating being a coeliac that I have to determine what ‘no added gluten’ means.

So, I chose Blackmores brand and I’ll let you know how I go.

Oh, I best tell you about the aches and pains hey? Well, I spoke to Dr Sid about it yesterday and explained it is mainly in my shoulders and neck but I sometimes feel the discomfort in my toes and hips. He said it is very unusual to suffer these pains which confused me because all of my research suggests that it is quite common.

The best way to explain it is that I feel like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. I feel like I need a good oiling in my joints to get me moving again.

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OMG I sound like I am 100 years old!!

I’m not. I just turned 44 only five days ago. Happy Birthday Toooooooo Me 🙂

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Fingers crossed that the next time I talk to you, I’ll be complaining of my Rapunzel length head hair, bragging about my smooth bald face and enjoying loose and pain free joints.

Peace Out!

The Price of Supporting Local Business

I am taking a risk with this blog because I know many people will not be happy with me but I am a little angry right now.

Small business is a big thing. Many of us do try to support small business as much as possible but it is the cost of some small businesses that see us ‘giving up’ and having to use the big companies.

My local bottle shop will tell you that I am a huge supporter of small business hehe. I do also use the local shop and barn for items quite regularly. Petrol is often bought locally but even they are testing my patience at times. Recently, they have had their price of petrol sitting at $1.14 a liter but I travel ‘down the hill’ and it is $1.03 everywhere else.

Anyhoo, here is my point.

As we all know, I will be on Tamoxifen for 10 years. And we all know I visit Dr George often and then I see his wife (who runs the chemist) afterward for my prescriptions and I really like both of these people. I knew the medication was roughly $9.00 dearer to buy from this chemist but, especially through my chemo days, I had no other option.

Well, I bought my Tamoxifen from them recently and it had to be ordered in. I was quoted $25.00 for 60 tablets. So, I thought, oh, that’s ok, $12.50 per month isn’t too bad I guess. When the medication arrived the next day, I was then told it was not $25.00 but was $38.30.

Whoa! That is quite the price difference.

When I purchased my 2nd packet of Tamoxifen (no, I haven’t been on it for two months but was near a chemist in town the other day and just handed all of my scripts in and Tamoxifen was one of those scripts) and blow me down with a feather but the price was soooo much different. It was $16.99!

Here is my proof. Also take note, the more expensive local product is the ‘generic brand’ which is supposed to be cheaper!

So let us work this out.

If I support local business and buy from my local chemist, I will spend

$229.80 each year as opposed to $101.94.

Over the 10 years of taking this medication I would pay

$2,298.00 instead of $1,019.10. It would cost me $1,278.90 to shop locally.

No one in their right mind would do this if they had a choice. The chemist which is not local to me is almost next door to where I work so there is no extra travel costs to get to another chemist for me because I’ll already be there.

I understand that local businesses don’t have the buying power of the big business and I accept the prices will be slightly higher but more than double? No, I can’t accept that. I can not support a local business that is going to cost me over $1,200 more than shopping at a chemist near work.

Right, now I have that off my chest…. I’ll leave you with some happy photos

My New Head

This is a photo of me on December 31 2015, as previously posted on ‘The Year That Was’

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Here is my photo today, 18th of January 2016.

Photo on 18-01-2016 at 9.20 am

CHECK OUT MY HAIR AND EYEBROWS!! They came back woot woot.

Now, just waiting for my eyelashes to come through nice and long and luxurious (dreaming here but a girl can hope).

Bits of Information

  • The chickens all have names – Steffie Forrester, Caroline and Brooke
  • Brady has been depressed because of Steffie Forrester, Caroline and Brooke because I go into the coop without him and he is jealous
  • It has been 18 days since I have consumed alcohol
  • There are only six days until I will be enjoying a glass or two of bubbles with my girlfriends for our Annual Australia Day catch up which is being held on the 24th of January this year
  • I am still waking up around 6am each morning (not by choice, my eyes just open and body is ready to get moving)
  • I had to pluck my eyebrows two days ago because the little hairs are growing back
  • My cow lick came back with my hair! grrrr
  • I purchased Theracucumin as recommended to help ease the bone and joint pain associated with my new medication Tamoxifen and it is working!

 

Tamoxifen

Lets talk about this new drug that I started taking 8 days ago.

Tamoxifen.

This drug is designed to blog the hormone, estrogen, which is what caused the breast cancer in the first place apparently.

I’ll start with the conversation with my amazing (and a little bit spunky) Dr Sid Selva.

He started the discussion with the fact that I’ll be taking it for ten years. Then he bored me with the details of what it does and how it may prevent further cancer blah blah blah. Then, he got to the side effects.

Now, anyone who has persisted in reading my blogs will know that I don’t use the term ‘side effects’ and instead call them feelings. Well, these are side effects.

When he started listing these side effects, I thought to myself…

“If this was a game show, I’d be the bloody champion because I already have all of these side effects without even taking the drug…. go me!!”

So, I started telling Dr Selva what I already had, and that I was way ahead of the Tamoxifen side effects. Here are the ones I have already….

  •  Weight Gain
  •  Irritability
  •  Reduced Sex Drive
  •  Hot flashes
  •  Anxiety
  •  Confusion
  •  Sweating
  •  Absent Periods (Yippeeeeeee)
  • Hair Loss or Thinning Hair
  • Inability to keep or get an erection (I put this in because it was on the fact sheet LOL

So, as you can see, I have quite the list already and I hadn’t even started the drug yet.

Now, for the interesting thing he said…

  •  Dry Vagina

What?

I said to the doctor (because when I think things they often shoot out of my mouth without any filter),

“is my vagina supposed to be like a dogs nose?”

Dr Selva, who I have never seen flustered or lost for words just sat there and looked at me with the biggest eyeballs I had ever seen. Ooops, wrong question perhaps?

I was getting worried internally thinking, OMG, I have had a problem with my vagina since forever because it is never ‘damp’ or ‘wet’ constantly. Maybe that is what those little panty liner things are for that I keep seeing advertised and never understood. Why has no one ever told me I should have a wet vagina?

Thankfully, Dr Selva explained the term ‘dry vagina’ refers to not being able to moisten during intercourse. OMG, how embarrassing! I could feel my entire face and body turning a lovely shade of beetroot!

We moved on pretty quickly after this topic.

Right, next we will look at what happened when I actually purchased my tamoxifen.

There is a lovely young fellow at the local pharmacy who covers for Mary on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. It was him that I saw to get this medication and he asked if it was my first time using it. I stated it was and that I would be on it for ten years and he says….

“Did the doctor discuss pregnancy and tamoxifen with you?”

Oh man, this happens to me waaaay to often, I really need to lose weight so I said, that isn’t an issue as there will be no more pregnancies for me. I stated I was too old for that. Usually I let the person know that I am just fat and not pregnant but I didn’t want to fluster my already flustered pharmacist so I left it at that.

So, I have now been on this medication for eight days and OMG, the side effects are INCREDIBLE. Well, there are a couple that aren’t but seriously, the main side effects are awesome.

I have always been a sleeper. I could easily sleep 12 to 16 hours if I wanted and often, I did want! Now, I am awake before 6am and I mean, really awake. I am ready to roll.

The energy I have is also incredible. Yesterday, I was up at 5:50am, had some coffees, played some computer games and out of no where, I decided to take Brady to the beach. I live in the Adelaide Hills so it isn’t a five minute drive to the beach but off we went. I forgot to put a bra on, lost a shoe at the beach (it is still there at Aldinga Beach South Australia somewhere. I left it’s partner on the picnic bench so if someone finds one shoe, they can go on a hunt for the other hehe) but, Brady and I had the best time. We walked and walked and he chased the tennis ball in and out of the water.

I am also feeling incredibly happy and social so I popped into the future in laws house on the way home, had a cuppa, chat, play with the dogs and off I went again.

Once home, I had my breakfast, vacuumed the floors, mopped the floors, cleaned the main bathroom and toilet, cleaned kitchen, roasted tomatoes in preparation to make passata (tomato sauce for pasta) and also cooked dinner!

  1.  I don’t wash floors (Sam does it)
  2.  Rarely do I cook dinner (Sam usually does it)
  3.  Once in over a year have I cleaned the main bathroom (Sam does it)
  4.  I have never made a home made tomato sauce
  5.  I am usually exhausted after only one of the above activities

So, all week I have risen from bed on or before 6am naturally except on Wednesday. I did wake before 6am but that was due to a horrible headache. Yes, this is another side effect from the Tamoxifen as well as incredible joint and bone pain. I am taking panadol for this but a lady on the Adelaide Breast Cancer Friendship Group site recommended I take Theracucumin with a pinch of black pepper for the pain. I will be hunting this down today because I do not fancy taking panadol every four hours for the next ten years.

Boy, that was quite a long post! Sorry if I have bored you but this is how much energy I have. Even my fingers are going crazy with energy that I just keep typing LOL.

I shall leave you now with another acklompishment for the week. Managing to get both dogs to sleep on their beds at the same time in the same room. They usually sleep on the sofa (before being found out and shooed off) or the carpet. Finally, they are on their beds.

Who Am I?

Well, I have given Sams head a break today and have not taken a bite out of it like I did yesterday. We ended our day with a gorgeous walk with the dogs and both of us felt much better for it.

Then, I had another night where I struggled to find tiredness. I read an entire book on Chickens that had been given to me by a lovely lady by the name of Sally. She is my mums friend and neighbour and has been absolutely lovely sending up bubbles, treats and books. Once I had finished the chicken book, I read a few chapters of a novel called “Odd Socks” which, thankfully, makes me sleepy.

I turned off my bedside light at 12:3oam!

Even though it took me a while to get sleepy, I did sleep well through the night until 7am. Then, my little peepers opened and I was wide awake!

I am never wide awake at that time. In fact, I am never wide awake at 10am! I got up and even Brady didn’t get up thinking I was going to go to the toilet and head back to bed.

Once he realised I was heading for the bedroom door to exit instead of heading to the ensuite, it looked as though he raised his eyebrows, he got up to head out with me.

Sam slept for a further half an hour which, is unheard of. So, when he got up and saw me at my computer desk, drinking my coffee, he was very surprised. Add to that, I was out in the street with my gorgeous Brady for a walk by 9:30am. Again, another unheard off…….

Today is day 9 without alcohol. Am I counting? Yep. It is a very difficult thing to give up for a stretch of time let alone during summer in Adelaide. There is nothing nicer than sitting out under the pergola with a nice cold glass of bubbles watching the sun set.

I am doing it though.

So, it seems this new alcohol free, reduced sugar intake, exercising person I have become now likes to wake up at the crack of dawn (7am is the crack of dawn for me) and get moving.

I have changed maaaaaaan.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

About my girls.

So, they have been with us for more than 24 hours now and they are doing well.

I was worried if they were drinking water because it is quite warm in Adelaide at the moment. When I popped into see them when I had gotten home from my future mother in laws house, there they were, all three girls drinking. 🙂 This made me very happy.

Have you ever seen a chicken vomit? Well, I have. Today, after their big drink, Steffie Forrester ‘leaked’ out a heap of water from her beak. It wasn’t like a chunky vomit, just a heap of water but I think she might have drunk a little bit too much. Steffie and I have quite a bit in common.

She doesn’t stop eating and obviously, when given a drink, guzzles it too quick hehe.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Before I leave, with my new healthy lifestyle, I have put on a kilo!!! ARGH!

Thinking of the year that was….

I started 2015 with a smile on my face. I was so happy and fortunate and loved.

Thankfully, I am ending this year with a smile on my face because I am happy, fortunate and loved.

Ok, there was a bump on the way.

We got over the bump.

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I have been made aware of so many things this year. The first thing being that Sam is there for me, through sickness and in health. He was there for me each and every day to ensure I was loved, fed, clean, medicated and positive. Sam made me laugh, took in all of the medical information, made learning about breast cancer his project and even sang silly songs to me. He drove me to each and every chemotherapy appointment, surgeon appointment, many of the radiation appointments and the endless trips to the chemist.

I have made new friends, been reunited with old friends, lost a couple of friends, felt the love of so many wonderful people. I have seen amazing and selfless sides of many people as well.

Naturally, I can’t name each and every person who has touched my heart this year but please know, you probably are one of them.

I started the year with two boobs, a head of long hair, a little lighter but I am ending this year with more knowledge, empathy, understanding and patience than I had at the beginning. I now know the amazing lengths people go to too help someone facing a very frightening illness. I have been incredibly fortunate to have an amazing group of people surrounding me.

I didn’t get cancer this year. I was diagnosed this year. According to my surgeon, the cancer had been in my body for a couple of years. I will not see 2015 as ‘the year I got cancer’ but it will be the year that Sam and I fought the disease in my body as far as I am concerned, we won.

The biggest standout of the year is pretty obvious to me. It was being told I had breast cancer. Everything that followed those words happened so fast and there was always something going on weather it was surgery, drains, those bloody dreadful and shitty hemorrhoids, nausea, fatigue, chemotherapy, baldness, radiation therapy, burns, blisters, but it was my ultra sound and mammogram appointment that I’ll never forget.

Do you make New Year Resolutions? I am a bit wishy washy when it comes to them but this year I have a long list of health related changes for my new year. Be warned, I am giving up alcohol. Blogs may actually start to make sense hehe.

There will be less processed foods, goodbye to sugar, hello to daily activity (I have the neighbours exersize bike in my lounge room ready and waiting), and I am going to smile a lot! I will continue with my positive attitude, growing salads and vegetables, drinking a lot of water and helping anyone who needs it.

This New Years Eve will be spent with our lovely neighbours at what I am hoping, will be the 1st of many street/neighbourhood parties.

My thoughts this year will be with health of my amazing family and friends, feeling proud of the amazing daughter I have, loving that amazing man of mine, drinking my last drink for a while and enjoying the fact I am here to celebrate another New Year.

Thank you to everyone for being with me this year either in person or in writing and your thoughts.

I wish you all a very Happy and Healthy New Year.

Much love………

20151231_173216

 

My Energiser Bunny Mia xx

Have you ever met someone who gave you a tingle? Or a little more energy? Perhaps they gave you a boost or a positive nature that you decided to follow.

Thankfully, I have many positive people in my life but today, an amazing and positive person came to visit me and her name is Mia.

Mia is amazing. She is a woman that many of us would love to be. She is absolutely passionate about her cause being her gorgeous special needs daughter Juno. She is passionate about her amazing and handsome son Rourke (allergy related illness). She is passionate about her ‘boob obsessed’ baby Olive.

Nothing is too much for Mia to delve into and explore, find explanations/reason, fight the government, schooling, expectations and find out how, why, when and hows of everything.

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When Mia speaks, you listen. She is passionate about diet, energy, gratitude, children’s needs, government, understanding, shutting up v’s speaking out and looking amazing.

I know Mia doesn’t do much to herself but she is one of those amazing women that just looks incredible to me and not just because she has two boobs and hair.

It is simply because of her energy.

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Mia is such an amazing woman who radiates energy and gratitude. How lovely are these flowers in a glass jar from the pantry??!

Like me, Mia is not keen on the ‘oh poor me’ syndrome that seems to be rampant through South Australia, or even, the world. We are more focused on the positiveness and gratitude of life. I LOVE THIS!

My amazing cousin Tamara and I follow this gratitude thing as often as possible where we email each other and in this email, we include three things we are thankful or grateful for each day. Sounds easy hey? Try it.

I’ll give you todays’ three things I am grateful for..

  1. An amazing and energized visit from Mia
  2. My gorgeous dogs who give me love each and every day
  3. Wonderful neighbours who I can chat too any time

I challenge each person who reads this today to write or email three things they are thankful or grateful for each day for a few years. The days you struggle to find three things are the days when you realise that this is an important thing to do each and every day.

Back to my visit from Mia.

She really is a pocket rocket. This woman can speak and you just hold onto every word she says.

I explained to Mia that I was giving up alcohol in the new year because, unfortunately, it has become a bit of a crutch for me. Alcohol has made things better when things were not so great.

Mia is against sugar and I could see that she understood but also, she knew why the weight had built onto my body. Sugar.

Without much or a conversation about it, I was ready to give it up simply because Mia is an Energizer Bunny, I want to be like her!! She has energy and plans and ideas and excitement about life, diet and lifestyle.

Give that to me!!!

With Mias visit, I had a laugh or three, many ideas and thoughts, jealousy and pride and energy! I am going to be a ‘Mia’.

Why is Mia so important? Well, to you she may not be. But to me she is amazing.

Mia is a young and gorgeous and amazing and healthy woman.

Mia has three children under 5 (maybe 6) and one is a special needs child and one has serious allergies and one, Olive, is a Mama’s baby.

MiasKids

Mia has fought the government disability schemes, has fought with local government members, has helped many many families with children of special needs, has encouraged fund raising for hospitals and … little old me… and gives back to society.

Mia should be wearing a tiara to bed each night but instead, she wears a weary and tired body, the stresses of having children who need to be within ten kilometers of a local hospital, an alarm that goes off to give another child her medication, fights for awareness and acceptance to be often shut down, sometimes from people too close to her, fights back tears and words when tears and words are needed….. she wakes every day to start again.

Here is gorgeous Mia and Juno

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This woman came to see me today and brightened my entire day with her smile and her flowers.

If you ever wish to complain about your life, first, look at your ‘gratitude’ and think again.

  • Do you have a roof over your head?
  • Do you have people who love you?
  • Is there money in your account? Maybe not today but tomorrow?
  • Is there a little one loving you right now?
  • Can you feed yourself? Or others that are in your house?

These are things you should be grateful for.

Mia, you are amazing and I love you. I can’t wait to visit  you or for you to visit me again.

My new year decision of giving up alcohol, sugar and reverting to a healthier lifestyle was perked up by your visit. I was even excited by this from the energy you bought to my home.

I know I can do this.

Without you, I am sure I could have done it but with your visit, I am EXCITED to do it.

Keep smiling that amazing smile Mia and thank you again for your inspiring visit to me.

Feel free to visit and follow that gorgeous Juno’s journey through facebook. Mia is an absolute gem when it comes to writing. She does use these new world ’emoticoms thingies’ but they work (and are very funny sometimes). I am feeling so much more in-tune with these little pictures hehe

Thank you Mia for popping up to my place and can’t wait to be energised by you again. xx

https://www.facebook.com/ourlittlejunebug/?fref=ts

miaandkids

You Rock…. xxx

 

Merry Christmas – I’m Not Done Yet

7th of April I was told I had cancer.

8th of April my breast cancer was confirmed and the fact it had spread.

At this time, I’ll be honest, I did not imagine I would experience such a positive and wonderful Christmas.

Yesterday, I experienced a wonderful Christmas.

I am incredibly fortunate that I  have such a wonderful network of people backing my health and the front runner of this wonderful network is Sam.

He made me promise not to buy gifts for each other this year as we simply couldn’t afford it and naturally, he didn’t stick to his word. I received such wonderful gifts and these were, a Game of Thrones colouring book, a gorgeous breast cancer pandora charm and a women’s health diary.

There is no way on this planet, in this life, that I want to live it without my Samuel Wilkinson.

After my gorgeous Dr Hands surprised me with my wonderful gifts, we then packed up and got ready for a full day of driving and visiting.

First up we traveled to the gorgeous and amazing property of Sam’s cousins’ house at Gummeracha –  Nikki McGrane and Braden Hutt, and wow, what a gorgeous home and setting for Christmas. Thank you so much for having us and I can’t wait to visit again soon.

Here I am with ‘Santa’ Darren!

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There were many laughs and bubbles (Thank you Auntie Susie not only for the bubbles but also for watching you go down the slip and slide heheheheeh) and then we were off to my Auntie Lyn and Uncle Phils house at Gawler.

As you can see, if you know South Australia, we had a bit of driving to do but it was very worth it. Thankfully, Dr Hands did all the driving which left me to drink all of the bubbles out of the Adelaide Hills 🙂

The Poo bit of it all is me. I have finished Radiation. Yay.

I have finished Chemotherapy. Yay.

But my cancer journey hasn’t ended and I do try to be all happy and positive with everyone but it isn’t all happy and wonderful.

Cancer doesn’t really end.

I still have 10 sessions of Herceptin. Ok, so there are no side effects from this and I only have it every three weeks….

Medication needs to be taken for the next ten years.

I have a 1 in 20 chance of getting cancer again somewhere in my body.

I stupidly said I would give up alcohol in January with no end date (I must have been drunk when I made this deal)

But, my point is, whilst the shitty sides are over, it isn’t over.

Another but, I love that I got to see another Christmas.

I Love that I got cuddles from my gorgeous niece Kally and nephew Jordan.

I got to see most of my family at Auntie Lyns house. With lots of laughs and food and drinks.

Many giggles were had at Sam’s family doo this arvo and my goodness, Santa Darren and Auntie Susie on the slip and slide almost had me doing a lady leak in my pants!

I love that I had another Christmas and I have the positive results to see many more to come.

Thankyou to all who have followed my journey so far. There is more to come so stay tuned.

I have loved today as I do with all Christmas celebrations. I can’t wait to celebrate many more.

He is a picture of Sam and I with our lovely neighbour John. (John is in the Middle)

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I do wish that everyone reading this had an equally amazing and happy Christmas as Sam and I had.

I will talk to you all soon, when I get over tomorrows hangover xx

The Nurse

Remember the olden days when a hospitals Matron was a very fussy and old fashioned – do it by the book – kind of person? Well, I think I met one of these people today.

She walks into the waiting room, stands in front of me with one hand on her large hip and says,

“Amanda Bailey?”

I was playing candy crush as I do every time I am in a waiting room and I say “Yup, that would be me”.

With a frown and a very stern manner she asks if she could ‘please interrupt me for an examination’.

The way she said it was like I was doing something wrong but I followed her into her room and she just stared at me again but this time, at my neck and the burn.

She muttered away and looked down my top without asking, looked at my back and continued muttering away. She said I would need this and that and what not and then said she’d see me after my radiation.

I couldn’t understand why I needed to see her again because I had just seen her, she had examined me and told me what to do so, after I’d been zapped, I told my amazing radiation lady that I really didn’t want to see that weird nurse again. She laughed and said she’d tell the nurse I was in a hurry and would grab the cream and padding I needed for me.

Well, I went into the little change room cubicle which barely has room for one person and blow me down but the weird old Matron nurse is banging on the change room door and comes in with me! FFS, there is no room for one of me but to have another large person, lets just say, it was too close for comfort. Talk about being in my personal space!

While I was driving home, my phone rang. I am incredibly well behaved when it comes to phones and cars and refuse to answer or even look at my phone. As I have two more appointments in town this afternoon, I thought it would be best if I checked who had called because I might have gotten earlier times for my other appointments.

The message was from that NURSE! The message went on and on about which creams to use where and how she should have given me a ‘wee container’ to mix two of the creams in. OMG – she had told me all of this in her office and again in that little tiny change room and now again on the voice mail.

Anyway, as I am not getting radiation on my shoulder anymore, I can use zinc which is awesome. It takes away all pain.

Is it noticeable? I figure it looks a lot better than wearing that sanitary pad on my shoulder!

Photo on 17-12-2015 at 11.24 am

 

Do I Have Cancer?

This is the question I asked my Radiologist, Professor Martin Borg. Here is his answer.

We hope not.

My response is…

So, you can’t tell me that I don’t have cancer.

He, thankfully, was honest and said no.

Unfortunately, he can’t say I am cancer free. He said that after two years, if no cancer has come back, then I am cancer free.

What really sucks is that I have a 1 in 20 chance of getting it back.

Sounds ok compared to 1 in 3 chance if I hadn’t had radiotherapy.

Imagine being in a room with 19 other people and one of you doesn’t get to walk out. That is a pretty scary thing.

My amazing Professor Borg has said to me, don’t think about it. If you do, you will tie yourself in knots. He has advised I maintain a healthy lifestyle and remember all of the work I have done to prevent and rid myself of cancer.

I am thinking I will start this healthy lifestyle in January. Who on earth starts it in December, and Mid December at that??

Bottoms up I say…. until January.

Anyhoo, I had my usual 8 zaps of radiation today but a nurse snaffled me before I could leave. Before I could even get out of my gown and says she needs to see me due to my skin issues.

The issue, being said skin, is bloody disgusting now. It is slimy and yuck every morning, incredibly painful when I shower and then add all of the creams needed which make me almost scream trying to apply it. So she says, lets pad it.

I kid you not, this padding came from a Tena Lady Pad packet in a roll! So, I now walk around as a bald fat budda with a sanitary napkin attached to my neck!

One day soon I am going to get to the good bit of weight loss, amazing hair growth, some eye brows and lashes and energy. That is obviously not today.