Welcome to my Cervix – All invited

Well, let me tell you about yesterday because OMG, even I was shocked and I am never shocked.

I went to my old GP who is young and amazing but is an hour and a half drive from where I live. This is why I dont visit her often but seeing as though she had called my mum (I am 43 years old and can take calls myself), I felt the reason for her wanting to see me was important.

Seeing as though I was seeing my surgeon for a follow up yesterday, I figured it was best to make an appointment on the same day because I hate driving down the freeway and best to do it as little as possible.

So, I get to see my wonderful ‘old’ but young doctor who tells me my Marina needs to come out NOW. She has tried to contact my surgeon and oncologist regarding my IUD and how it could impede in my cancer treatment but neither have responded to her repeated calls.

Before I know it, I have no pants on and my legs are spread for her to try and get this IUD, my chosen contraceptive (encouraged by my doctor mind you) and she tugged and yanked and apologised and did what she needed to do to no avail. This thing was not coming out easily and OMG  (that means Oh My Gosh to those who are not internet savvy) I was in agony. I can’t decide if I was making sex noises or birth noises but either way, they were not good noises.

My doctor had to get me an ASAP appointment to a gynecologist to try and get this thing out. So, my IUD was half way in and half way out. For men, you will have no idea what this feeling is like but geez, I could tell you every swear word under the sun that I uttered on the drive from Mawson Lakes to North Adelaide with this thing in my Cervix and not wanting to stay or go.

The Gyno was summoned from his hospital to come and see me and seriously, this man was as old as the hills. I was frightened but he seemed to know what he was doing. He said he would try and do this without stirrups but would use them if he ran into strife. I didn’t even know they still existed! Just get this bloody thing out of me FFS (that means for fuck sake for those not internet savvy).

Yank he did. Is it possible to faint while laying down? I dont know the answer to this but that is what I felt like doing when he pulled it out. He asked about what contraception I was going to be using now I didn’t have an IUD and I mentioned to him that Sam will never be heading down there anytime soon so there will be no issue.

Man, that was as painful as childbirth. Ok, so apparently the IUD had nestled into my muscle (I didn’t know there was a muscle in my cervix) and that is why it was difficult to remove but I dont give a shit. Nothing is going near that area anytime soon. That was waaaaaay too painful.

So, that was my cervix adventure yesterday.

Maybe tomorrow, I might feel stronger and feel like discussing my ten years of tamoxofen as advised by my surgeon but today is not the day for that discussion.

Today’s photo is when we moved into our new home almost a year ago, and that big fluffy dog was riding in the back of the ute. Looking at the photo makes me happier that any cervix or marina photo 🙂