Just one more thing….

The Professor mentioned to not cut, burn or damage the left arm or hand because the lymph nodes were removed from this area and wont ‘drain’ the way they used to. He recommended I wear gardening gloves when in the garden. He doesn’t know me at all obviously…

I was like, yeah ok ok, with a huge burn, couple of cuts and so forth on left arm trying to hide behind my back…

On the way home I mentioned to Dr Hands about the Professor mentioned the left arm cuts n stuff because Sam was here with me when the Professor said it but Dr Hands didn’t say anything.

Wouldn’t you know it …. home time and Dr Hands is in bed and I was trying to remember the Professors words or keeping the left side of my body clean and clear so when I put the piece of wood in the fire place, wouldn’t you know it, I burnt the knuckle of my right thumb ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Totally lucky I burned my right thumb knuckle instead of anything on the left side of my body hey?

Featured Image is a ‘regular burn’ from me trying to put a piece of firewood into the fireplace ๐Ÿ™‚

Here are left v’s right burns…

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Splurge Money

Do you remember a while back when I told you about some people who had raised money for me to use just for me? No bills or medical appointment costs etc?

They were the team who included my gorgeous daughter Accalia, my lovely friends Mia and Nicole which linked with Black Canvas Photography, Bendigo Bank and others…

Well, they raised money for me to splurge on myself and so far I had bought some lovely bottles of sparkling wine, Baileys Irish Cream, gorgeous matching bedside lamps, a lovely tree painting on canvas and today….

Lobster Tails and Scallops.

I dont have much of an appetite and is a constant argument with Dr Hands and I. He is constantly questioning me on what I have eaten and had to drink blah blah blah.

So, on the way home from the extra long Radiotherapy appointment, Dr Hands asked me what I wanted for dinner and straight away I said, lets go to Cappo Seafood!

It is on the way home from the city and a place we used to go to often but since we now live in the country, we rarely even mention it. So, we went to Cappo to see what whet my appettite.

Lobster Tails! 3 x $20.00. Yes Please! Give me Give Me Give me!! I picked up a couple of scallops on skewers and a hand full of cooked prawns. Yup, thank you ‘splurge money’.

So, tonight, Dr Hands made garlic butter lobster tail and the two skewers of scallops (5 x each skewer) and yummo. I ate the six prawns while I waited for him to cook the dinner but was totally worth it.

Normally, neither Dr Hands nor I would ever consider me having such an extravagant meal but due to our current situation, it wouldn’t be in our budget. My ‘splurge money’ has been all about me thanks to everyone involved, I was able to indulge.

Let me say………grrrrrrrrr, mmmmmmmm, yummmmmmmm **insert Homer drawl**

This was a total splurge and so well appreciated.

Thank you Mia, Accalia, Black Canvas Photography, Bendigo and Adelaide Bank, Sue Sayles and all the others I do not know of.

I am frightened of the upcoming bills of radiotherapy and such but to be able to enjoy such a meal (including some lovely bubbles) was such a lovely moment that could not have happened without you all.

So, I am being very careful with my ‘splurge money’ that has been collected, please know that it has been so very much appreciated.

xx

Busy times ahead ….

So, I met my radiologist person and he is a Professor! Dr Borg is his name and he seems lovely. He had a look and feel of my scar and yes, there is a lump there that he wants to have checked out so here is my schedule this coming Thursday…

8:45am – Ultrasound with potential fine needle aspiration

10:00 am – Heart test with that dye stuff

1:10 pm – Chemo

3:15 pm – Visit Oncologist

Yep, it’s going to be a huge day for someone like me who can barely do anything for longer than an hour without needing a 3 day nap!

So, back to the Professor. Whilst he was running a little late (1 hour!!), he did seem really pleasant and whilst he was running so far behind, I did expect to be rushed but he took all the time needed to check out that lump, have a little tease with Sam and I as to weather we were competing with the baldness (Professor was pretty impressed I was out and about without wig or hat), and go through what the treatment is about.

Oh, just taking a step back a bit, while we were waiting the hour to see the Professor (yes, I will always call him the Professor from here on in), Sam collected his usual reading material. He needs to know everything where as I leave all of the bits to my doctors, oncologists and Professors.

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In case you can’t see the title of some of these, here are some of them that he chose to bring home….

  • Managing Vaginal Bleeding
  • Sexual Wellbeing
  • Managing Hot Flushes

Isn’t he a treasure to think of getting these pamphlets??

Anyhoo, it seems that my radiotherapy will start 4 weeks after my chemo finishes so that is in three months.

My radiotherapy, when it starts, only goes for 6 and a half weeks. Phew hey? Um, no, there is no Phew there.

It is EVERYDAY for six and a half weeks. That works out to 32 and a half treatments, everyday, five days a weekย  for six weeks.

LET ME SWEAR MY GUTS OUT.

I know I know, the whole life saving bizzo but geez, it is a one and a half hour round trip. 90 kilometers a day, every day for six and a half weeks. This is now sounding like work.

And another thing, unlike chemo where they book you in as a day patient and the private health fund covers the cost, that isn’t the case with Radio. I am going to have to pay a gap. Is that daily? Do I have to pay each and every day?

So, not only do we have the travel costs for 90 kilometers each day for six and a half weeks, I also have to pay for the radiotherapy AND my health insurance fees AND my income insurance fees and hope the whole lot balances out somehow….

I know I shouldn’t complain about costs and availability of such successful treatment etc but I am tired.

Cancer isn’t just about the body, it also is really hard work keeping up with the bills and the accounts that come in and who pays what and when and what not.

Whinge complete.

Mothers and Daughters Communication

Text comes in from my daughter

Daughter – Hey mummy. How are you feeling? You haven’t blodded in 4 days! Hope you are ok, I love you.

Me – Hi There. I’m ok. Just been a bit flat and tired that’s all. Love you too

Daughter – Okay xxx

New age communication.

I love that she thinks of me and also judges my heath as per each blog xx

She is great, dont get me wrong but I thought this was super funny.

Love that kid of mine.

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Photo is about five years old… I had hair, skinniness and eyelashes ๐Ÿ™‚ My daughter is still as gorgeous today as she was back then…..

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My baby girl will always be my baby girl, even if she is now 22 xx

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Here is my baby girl (on the left) with her love Stacey ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

When a Square is above and beyond a Square

Having been blogging for a few months now, I have found friends from all over the world. We’ll probably never meet, never get close enough to share super intimate things but, I feel they are friends all the same. We are either going through, have been through or about to go through, the same kind of thing….. breast cancer.

There are other ‘friends’ I have had over the years that I have never met. Three of these people are of the same family and they are Grandma and Grandpa McCarty and Cusin Callum McCarty.

These three people, whilst I have never met them, have had me in fits of giggles each time I see photos of them but I have always known, they’d have the kindest of hearts.

Well, blow me down with a feather but didn’t Cusin Callum McCarty surprise me a few weeks ago.

As I have mentioned, I have a special letter box that allows parcels be delivered without me having to sign for them and when Ashley, the post man, has a parcel for me, he just pops it into my special letterbox which has a safe. It means no one can steal my mail. I can also see if there is a parcel in there if I open the lid slightly.

So, imagine my surprise when I opened the lid slightly to see if there was any mail and the scent that came out of the safe was incredible. I knew the scent but I couldn’t place it. Was my postman Ashley slathered in aftershave and hiding in my safe?

When I retrieved my parcel, the scent was even stronger, the writing – Special Delivery – “Square” Inside had me scratching my nude nut…. Who on earth was C McCarty?

In all honesty, whilst the smell of the parcel was so intense and addictive, I still couldn’t place the scent or the name. I knew I had smelt this scent before, the handwriting looked farmiliar but still, I was perplexed.

Here is what I first received…

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It looked (and smelt) really important. And then I opened it and this is what was inside….

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As you can see, it isn’t knitted or crocheted… it is almost like ‘Yeah Baby’ shag pile. On the back, there is a Open with Care sign. Remember the old days with those contraptions where you could label everything? So, my mystery C McMarty has a label maker. It was all coming back to me now. The smell, Aramis….. The ‘fur’, a mystery…

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Oh the poem,…… Amazing, if you have failing eyesight, here is the ‘Ode”,

“ODE TO AMANDA”

A wee bonnie lassie called Amanda

was stricken with a beast called cancer

That wee bonnie lassie and her main man Sam

will beat that cancer and you know they can.

Now that wee bonnie lassie said she wanted a square

but for now doesn’t have any hair.

So leave it to Callum who really does care

to give some of his own to treasure and share.

But wee Laddie Sam, be careful when you venture ‘down there’

for you’re likely to find Some of Callum’s red pubic hair!

Love and best wishes – Cusin Callum McCarty (aka Grandpa McCarty, aka Grandma McCarka, aka “you know who”.

Isn’t that the best ‘ode’ of forever!!?? I was almost peeing my pants with tears in my eyes reading this and looking at his beautiful bucktoothed face. But there was more.

Cusin Callum McCarty even sent me a photo to show where his ‘fur’ for the square had come from. Cover your eyes mama if you have gotten this far…..

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Often Sam will walk into my living room (yes, we have seperate living rooms) and yell at me for smelling Callums Square. His yell goes as follows,

“Stop smelling another mans penis!”

Oh but it smells so good. If you have not smelt Aramis before, get down to your local store and find a bottle to smell.

Thank you to one of my favourite men on this planet. You have really made my day with the Cusin Callum McCarty square and you kind words.

Hopefully I’ll be back soon to annoy you and make you laugh as you have made me laugh xx

Still Here

Yeah, I’m still around but boy, that last lot of chemo really knocked me for a six.

I feel I have done nothing but sleep. Anti nausea tablets are my best friends right now and I want to even take the box to bed to cuddle. But more than that, I am just simply tired.

I am tired of chemo, cancer, my gorgeous dogs, text messages, emails, facebook, tv and everything in between.

It isn’t against anyone or anything but boy am I really fed up with it all right now.

I popped out yesterday to do some chores out in the the big wide world of meadows yesterday and I kid you not, I thought my nude nut of a bald head was going to fall off! Not only that, I slept eighteen hours straight from only going to the chemist, bottle shop (nothing consumed) and to the chemist. That was enough to wipe me out for eighteen hours of pure and solid sleep.

Even the dogs dont have my patience. I tell them often that I will take their embroided collars off and leave the front door open if they dont behave. Yep, times are tough.

Seriously though, with all the shit that I feel, I still think I am kinda doing ok. Maybe I watched too many movies and shit when I was younger and the cancer patient was vomiting and sick and thin and what not. I am none of these. I am just bald and fat and tired. Thats it.

What I do love is that man of mine coming home from work with a billion questions about what I have consumed for the day, my mum visiting most weekends, my cousin/bff emailing me everyday to tell me about her world and making me find three amazing things for my day etc and of course, my lovely parcels of squares. I can’t wait to tell you about my most recent square that almost had me pee my pants!!

Cancer really does suck. But, I am half way through chemo which is a great thing.

I am loved and thought about.

The rain outside makes me smile because I do not have to go out in it.

I am having a shitty day, week and night.

I wont ask for you to forgive me for such a negative post because I dont have many bad days. I can always fine a reason to smile and keep going. Today, my smile just isn’t as big.

That is all.

xx

To make myself (and possibly you) here is a happy photo…. This is Brady as a Baby ๐Ÿ™‚

Uniden Digital Camera
7 Weeks Old