Ok, so yes, don’t go on about it but I have had a couple of drinks but this question is not unreasonable is it?
I know that I am about to lose all of my hair. No, I am not interested in this new technique of the cold cap of keeping some of my hair. I either have all of my hair or none. I am not interested in some here and there. gMy hair is shit so why would I want to keep it and no, I will not regret this statement when I have lost my hair. I worry that it will grow back grey but that’s about it.
What I most worry about is my head. What if it is full of warts? Full of dents and digits? What if my head isn’t a smooth and beautiful round thing that people look at and just know I am dealing with Breast Cancer? I fear it is ugly.
I can already feel something that feels like warts or alien like pimples. So there goes my beautiful smooth and round head. Maybe if I use my pedi thingy that removes rough skin from my feet, onto my head, then I’ll have a beautiful soft and round head.
Unfortunately the media gives these amazing photos of cancer stricken women looking amazing. I dont look amazing now so how am I going to look amazing once chemo starts?
This all sucks really. Yes, I am having a pitty party but if there was ever a time to have one it is now.
So my wishes today are as follows
1. My gorgeous dogs recover from kennel cough real soon
2. My amazing Dr Hands (Sam) continues his patience and love for me
3. My Head is gorgeous under this shitty crappy hair I have been given
4. I get over what ever virus I am fighting because I do have Breast Cancer that I need to beat!
5. Something amazing happens that makes me almost or even wee my pants 🙂
I am in a shitty crappy mood tonight. Thankfully I have amazing neighbours who can supply me with bubbles. Oh, and get this. Here I am in their home, rightie bobbie swinging in the breeze because leftie is sore and swollen and Lisa (neighbour) decides my burn on my arm need dressing. I am at her home, late at night, needing alcohol and that wonderful and gorgeous neighbour of mine feel s the need to dress my burn on my arm. Gotta love that kinda friend/neighbour.
Another thing I experienced this weekend which I am glad was only an experience was a few puffs of cigarettes. I smoked for many years and before I quit, was up to 50 a day. A lot of people asked where I found the time and even now, I wonder where I found the time. Now I am facing cancer, I even now want a cigarette. Isn’t cancer supposed to scare you of death? I see smoking as a relaxant. But, after over five years of not smoking, I do not want to go back to the ill health and expense of smoking. I will just carry on having cancer, begging neighbours for sparkling wine and believing I can beat this disgusting disease. Thank you Lisa and Pete. Thank you Sam. Today hasn’t been a great day xx
Featured Image is Brady and I before Cancer and Kennel Cough. xx
4 thoughts on “Is My Bald Head Pretty?”
I had exactly the same fears re a baldy head! You really do end up not caring about it, however. It’s amazing how you end up caring about a very few things in life, like family and dogs! I bought a wig, but never wear it, just pop a bandana on if I go out (mainly to protect against sunburn).
Just had my last Taxol chemo last week, and my hair has started to grow! It often grows back white or grey at first, then should go. Back to your normal colour. Mine is white on top, dark on sides, so I’ll probably end up with a skunk look! 🙂
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Yay for your last Taxol chemo last week. Isn’t that amazing that your hair has started to grow already. The skunk look is totally in at the moment, am sure you’ll rock it hehe. xx
I also wondered what my scalp would look like. I also knew I was not going to get that cold cap – why prevent the chemo from going to my scalp if I am already dealing with it? Mets happen on the scalp too so I was worried chemo was not going to protect that part of my body. Good for you for not getting it.
The only thing that annoyed me about having no hair was how cold my scalp felt most of the time. Oh, and the wig itches! So I hardly ever wore it. I got used to my bald head and walked around like that. No biggie.
My hair grew back grey but then it goes back to normal.
CONGRATS to you for quitting smoking. So hard to do. You’ve done a great thing and you should be very proud.
The reason I didn’t go for the cold cap is because they said it ‘may’ prevent some hair loss. I had images of have tufts of hair here and there. I am an all or nothing kinda person and if my hair is going to come out, let it come out.
Living in the cold Adelaide hills and we are heading into winter, I do imagine there’ll be a few beanies around to keep my head warm.
Thanks for your congrats on quitting smoking. I feel great for not smoking and it has been five years now!
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