I Am On Cancer Leave.

I don’t have much to report today. I am a bit blugh but not in a bad way. I am just a little flat. It might be because there is nothing really happening right now. I am walking around still carrying drippy, still sore, still lop sided and still in this mornings pyjamas and it is after 9pm at night.

Geez, that sounds really quite pathetic and sooky hey, but I am generally ok beside what I have said above. I pooped today which made me smile. I slept amazingly well last night which also made me smile. I guess I am not great at recovering from surgery. I feel that there should be something happening now but there isn’t.

So, I spent my day filling in paperwork for my income insurance, medicare documents, phoning the bank to explain my situation and to see what options are available (yes I know I know, I work in the industry but my mortgage isn’t with the bank I work with so I had to double check that they had the same options available), made my post operation appointment, oncology appointment and booked Brady in for a total hair cut. He is so woolly at the moment that I am frightened he is going to be mistaken as one of the local sheep and boy is he filthy! Building a house is great and beautiful and everything is new except for the garden. We managed to get the front garden done and finished and looking lovely but the back yard, well, it is dirt. Mud sometimes, but dirt and it loves to stick to Brady. I think it might be a while off now until we pave or deck that area as we had planned to do so by having Brady shaved, it’ll save him bringing in a lot of that dirt and mud. Oh, I best not start chatting to you about Brady because this entire blog could then revolve around that wonderful boy of mine.

Oh, there is something I want to talk about actually, it is being fat. Most of you know I am a wee bit overweight, ok, a lot but anyway, I found something out about chemo. You get fat! I do not have room to put on anymore weight. Why can’t there be a benefit to this cancer bizzo like weight loss or something? Isn’t it enough that I am going to lose my hair (I hope I have a beautiful scalp), lose my eyelashes and eyebrows, will get mouth ulcers (that is going to suck for a fat chick who loves food),  and I’ll  put on weight! I know I’ll end up with lovely boobies eventually but geez, can I have something to enjoy in the mean time? Why can’t something amazing happen like, end up with beautiful glowing skin, or the tightening of my bum and leg muscles, make me smarter… something positive would really be nice. Oh hang on, there is something positive, it will save my life. Yeah ok, that’ll do.

And another thing. Why can’t we have ‘cancer leave’ like we do with ‘maternity leave’? That would be super handy for us cancer people. It is seeming to be quite an expensive illness at this time and I imagine it is only going to get more expensive so being on ‘cancer leave’ from work would be very beneficial right now. I am hoping there wont be too much of a hassle obtaining this income insurance. The insurance company obviously ask a lot of questions and the paperwork is generic but one of the questions is ‘when did you notice your illness’. Isn’t that a bizzare question? They also ask when you first went to the doctor and then when you received confirmation of the illness but the question as to when you noticed your illness I thought was quite out there.

So my plans for the next few days are to accept I have had major surgery as advised to me by Pauline and Dr Hands, accept I have to rest, relax and reduce the thoughts in my head. I will pick up my book and lose myself in the words and worlds of others. I shall feel no guilt in doing so either because this is what I need to do. The pain killers are good when they are working but they make me feel I can do much more than I should really be doing so I will listen to the professionals and not my endone brain.

Want to know what I am reading right now? The Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins. I am absolutely loving this book and it fascinates me that I can enjoy a book where I do not like the characters. They aren’t nice people but I can’t put the book down. I am almost finished this book and you know what comes after that? Choosing a new book to read. That is one of my favourite things to do in life, choosing the next book to read and I have lots of books in my ‘To Be Read’ pile.

Well, thanks for sticking with me through this rambling session. I feel better now, do you? 🙂